I run cross-country. I have my entire life. But I am more than happy to jump on the bandwagon when people are making fun of the “fit lifestyle.” Exercise, for a lot of people, is just a convenient way to replace their shitty personalities with “fitsperation.” Seriously… working out fucking blows. It’s not fun. It’s not interesting. But if I have to do it to beat diabetes and high blood pressure, I’ll do so silently.
On top of that, I like watching people spend a small fortune on supplements that wouldn’t pass the first round of clinical trials. It’s proof positive that marketing to boneheads is incredibly lucrative.
I have friends who go out with our group and literally have no fun at all because they are trying so hard to get laid. They’ll then brag the next day if they manage to bring home that 6. Neat, dude; I had twiche as much fun, spent half as much as you, and now I’ll get to masturbate and it will probably be just as good as she was in bed.
If you’re a smug virgin who was always competitive over arbitrary things like who got the HIGHER “A” on an exam, you’ll love it. If you’re more like the readership on this site, probably not so much.
I’ve gone to three weddings now where boots were requested. It’s always because a girl who isn’t from the south, but wishes she were, is living out her shitty fantasy. Fuck you, bitch, I’m wearing my muddy steel-toes. I’m irrationally angry right now.
“Here’s the employee handbook. Here’s all the job safety handbooks. The rest of the training is on the internal site. Oh yeah… Don’t have fucking kids, dude.” – First thing the guy who trained said to me.
I’ve come to learn that there’s a large minority of women that not only wish, but expect that their rich, prince charming will come one day to sweep them off their feet. There’s a similar amount of men that complain about being a ‘nice guy’ while girls only date ‘assholes.’ Maybe these two groups will just pair off and we’ll never have to hear people bitching about being single ever again.
A few months ago, my mother was cleaning out the basement and throwing a bunch of old (mostly junk) stuff away. Before she did so, she asked if I wanted anything she was tossing, which included the Nintendo Gamecube we had. After asking her if she was fucking insane (ProTip: don’t ask your nearly 60 year old mother if she’s insane), I drove over that day to grab the Gamecube, because, according to my mother, it’s the only thing that I have ever had any emotionally attachment to.
Several weeks later, my friends were set to get to town on a Friday night, but were significantly delayed due to a snowstorm. I had been drinking by myself in my apartment to make sure I was on the right level of drunk when they arrived, which by this point was going to be blackout if they were delayed by more than a few hours. After finding out they were going to be late, I broke out the Gamecube and began playing Mario Party by myself, made a drinking game for myself out of it, and got shit-faced before my friends even arrived. I remember playing for an hour or two, my friends arriving, and then it all fades to blackout. According to my friends, I refused to go out to the bars with them because I wanted to continue playing Gamecube. They returned to my apartment around 2 AM to find me passed out in the middle of playing Super Mario Sunshine.
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I run cross-country. I have my entire life. But I am more than happy to jump on the bandwagon when people are making fun of the “fit lifestyle.” Exercise, for a lot of people, is just a convenient way to replace their shitty personalities with “fitsperation.” Seriously… working out fucking blows. It’s not fun. It’s not interesting. But if I have to do it to beat diabetes and high blood pressure, I’ll do so silently.
On top of that, I like watching people spend a small fortune on supplements that wouldn’t pass the first round of clinical trials. It’s proof positive that marketing to boneheads is incredibly lucrative.
In this thread: people who have paid their dues to the billion dollar fitness industry and are upset that someone is knocking them for it.
I can spell “twice”
I have friends who go out with our group and literally have no fun at all because they are trying so hard to get laid. They’ll then brag the next day if they manage to bring home that 6. Neat, dude; I had twiche as much fun, spent half as much as you, and now I’ll get to masturbate and it will probably be just as good as she was in bed.
Don’t ever count on the bridesmaids for anything except being drunker than they should be.
If you’re a smug virgin who was always competitive over arbitrary things like who got the HIGHER “A” on an exam, you’ll love it. If you’re more like the readership on this site, probably not so much.
I’ve gone to three weddings now where boots were requested. It’s always because a girl who isn’t from the south, but wishes she were, is living out her shitty fantasy. Fuck you, bitch, I’m wearing my muddy steel-toes. I’m irrationally angry right now.
Enroll in your 401k plan, use the money you “save” on taxes to go to the bar.
“Here’s the employee handbook. Here’s all the job safety handbooks. The rest of the training is on the internal site. Oh yeah… Don’t have fucking kids, dude.” – First thing the guy who trained said to me.
The bathroom sink, the shower, the garbage disposal, and the vacuum will all be clogged with your girl’s hair.
I’ve come to learn that there’s a large minority of women that not only wish, but expect that their rich, prince charming will come one day to sweep them off their feet. There’s a similar amount of men that complain about being a ‘nice guy’ while girls only date ‘assholes.’ Maybe these two groups will just pair off and we’ll never have to hear people bitching about being single ever again.
Who are the women that date these dorks?
Just send pictures of money or jewelry. It’s sure to get most women aroused.
The irony of reading this article while at work.
Some ISPs will either slow your bandwidth or send you a “stop fucking torrent sharing, you asshole” letter if you go above a certain data quotient.
Hundreds of kids die each year from FALLING TV’S!!!! How could someone be so stupid as to not take proper care of THEIR TV?!
Actually, my favorite is when a girl just decides to order drinks from my tab. wastes my money without the effort on my part. Win-win!
Classic twist ending. It was like watching the sixth sense all over again.
A few months ago, my mother was cleaning out the basement and throwing a bunch of old (mostly junk) stuff away. Before she did so, she asked if I wanted anything she was tossing, which included the Nintendo Gamecube we had. After asking her if she was fucking insane (ProTip: don’t ask your nearly 60 year old mother if she’s insane), I drove over that day to grab the Gamecube, because, according to my mother, it’s the only thing that I have ever had any emotionally attachment to.
Several weeks later, my friends were set to get to town on a Friday night, but were significantly delayed due to a snowstorm. I had been drinking by myself in my apartment to make sure I was on the right level of drunk when they arrived, which by this point was going to be blackout if they were delayed by more than a few hours. After finding out they were going to be late, I broke out the Gamecube and began playing Mario Party by myself, made a drinking game for myself out of it, and got shit-faced before my friends even arrived. I remember playing for an hour or two, my friends arriving, and then it all fades to blackout. According to my friends, I refused to go out to the bars with them because I wanted to continue playing Gamecube. They returned to my apartment around 2 AM to find me passed out in the middle of playing Super Mario Sunshine.
I like to party. Yes, I know; cool story, Hansel.
Good work today, Catie.