My boss of five years still spells my name wrong in emails.

My annual raise doesn’t even cover inflation. PGP.

My condom stash is expired. PGP.

Left my number on my receipt for the 22 year old bartender. I’m 28. PGP.

Just saw a tube of denture adhesive cream on a girl’s desk at work. PGP.

When you have to ask a coworker if they have any Tums. PGP.

Only two single people in the wedding party – me and the groom’s 16-year-old brother. PGP.

Spent Saturday night eating sushi alone on the couch. My friends got engaged. PGP.

Caught a glimpse of my boss’ Google search: side effects of birth control. PGP.

Told I’m one of the top 2 candidates. Didn’t get the job. PGP.