Only 45 more years. #PGP

Accidentally slept with the boss’s daughter’s best friend. Somehow he heard about it. #PGP

I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of my life, assuming I die by Monday. PGP.

Living off a steady diet of microwaveable meals and beer. PGP.

I just want to have enough money so that I don’t have to think twice about adding guacamole. PGP.

Everyone is working from home today. I didn’t get the memo. PGP.

Being certified in everything, but knowing less than Jon Snow. PGP.

I reuse paper plates. PGP.