“The chairperson has not yet arrived. Please continue to hold.”

“Try to remain productive with your bench time.”

My company just implemented a new system to crack down on all non-work related web browsing.

“That’s not part of my job description.”

Told my secretary I wasn’t feeling well and was going to check out early. She said “you don’t look very good.” I’m actually fine, I just wanted to run some errands.