Headphones: The Universal Human Sign of “Do NOT talk to me.”

My older co-workers are always asking me to “jazz up this Power Point presentation”. PGP.

Explaining memes to the office dinosaur…

Patiently waiting for all the baby boomers to retire so we all can just work from home everyday. PGP.

I avoid websites I like at night so I can check them out on work time. PGP.

I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of my life, assuming I die by Monday. PGP.

I just want to have enough money so that I don’t have to think twice about adding guacamole. PGP.

My company put me in charge of ordering new business cards for everyone. Say hello to your new Executive Vice President of Marketing Coordination. PGPM.

Too young to fit in with the coworkers, too old for the interns. PGP.