That audible sigh of relief when you find out that everyone’s least-favorite person isn’t coming in today. PGP.

Just ate a Krispy Kreme left over from Friday. PGP.

I have been working here for five months now. Only yesterday was I informed that our building has a free 24 hour gym that’s nicer than the one I’ve been paying for. PGP.

I’m on a first name basis with the Chinese delivery guy, but none of my neighbors. PGP.

The only thing I have in common with the other women in my office is our love of Crockpots. PGP.

Beginning all online shopping sprees by clicking the ‘sort price: low to high’ option. PGP.

I can’t tell if I have low libido or if I’m just too tired to jack off anymore. PGP.

I wonder if I have to claim Fantasy Football winnings on my taxes. PGP.

This whole Ray Rice thing really makes me wonder how many times someone has seen me pick my nose while riding an elevator alone. PGP.