Long blank stares at the ceiling before getting out of bed for work.

Received a firm-wide email from the CEO thanking everyone for their hard work this year along with a $100 electronic gift card to Amazon. It was an internal phishing test that was his idea. PGP.

Not remembering a single fucking thing from hometown bars last night when unsaved numbers are texting you today. PGP.

That knowing “you’re gonna go get fucked up, aren’t you?” look from your boss when you tell him you’re taking PTO to go to Vegas. PGP.

E-mails with To: and Cc: lines bigger than the actual message. PGP.

New girlfriend invited me to her college reunion. Got cucked. PGP.

My boss asked me to train the new guy. Just found out the new guy will be my new supervisor. PGP.

Don’t trust anyone who can take a work dump in less than 8 minutes. PGP.

G chat is down across the country. Worst Monday ever.