I was pushed to the very outskirts of Del Ray because I like biscuits, bacon, and not procreating. They can’t push me out though because my girlfriend works, or has worked, in almost all of the restaurants in town.
“Ordering a pitcher? Well, I guess your digestive tract hasn’t started rejecting draft beers like everyone else’s yet. The time will come, though, and you’ll hate yourself when it does. Two words: baby wipes.”
Does draft beer make one have a leaky asshole? Asking for a friend…
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He’s a Goldendoodle. Pocket dogs are so pedestrian…
I was pushed to the very outskirts of Del Ray because I like biscuits, bacon, and not procreating. They can’t push me out though because my girlfriend works, or has worked, in almost all of the restaurants in town.
Agreed, stay out of Alexandria. Especially the Del Ray area. We have enough pretentious, insufferable assholes who hate gluten and fun.
I think they were just discussing her getting a new job.
Sweaters from Nordies aren’t gonna pay for themselves and I’m sure Todd’s account is feeling the crunch.
Just to end it all…
I hate when this happens. My girlfriend’s eyes are bigger than her stomach so she orders way too much and never finishes.
Top that with the fact she hates leftovers. Needless to say, I’ve had to become quite the cook at home for the sake of my budget.
2016 may be giving us the worst political situation of a generation, but it’s also giving us a John Daly 30 for 30. I call it a wash…
Cab at 2:30 in the afternoon. Respect. All you need is a midday cigar to accompany it.
Moxie Single-Function Showerhead with Wireless Speaker: It is so choice. If you have the means, I highly recommend picking one up.
“Todd, your bachelor party, like, cannot be more fun than my bachelorette party!!! Why are you always trying to UNDERMINE ME!?!”
Hey, JR. Are you ok, man? You’ve become pretty homicidal lately.
You know, I’m here to talk if you need someone to listen.
The girl needs to be our lead interrogator at Gitmo. We break the terrorist will to live the same way she’s broken Todd’s.
Minimum of three items: Hat, eye patch, and hand hook.
Done: free donuts for the office (read: yourself) and you can take it off before you get into work.
I hate that slim fit is the style. Being a big guy, I gotta rock the classic cut.
Or get stitches…
Opening the original post at work and getting flagged for exposed female nipple. PGP
“Ordering a pitcher? Well, I guess your digestive tract hasn’t started rejecting draft beers like everyone else’s yet. The time will come, though, and you’ll hate yourself when it does. Two words: baby wipes.”
Does draft beer make one have a leaky asshole? Asking for a friend…
Spoiler: They’re garbage…
Throwing on Nada Surf on Spotify is the only way to enjoy this particular installment.
We have the Redskins cans in DC and they look like Dr. Pepper cans.