20 minutes of half-assed work deserving an hour of surfing the web and opening NSFW e-mails on your phone. PGP

When co-workers strike up a conversation in the bathroom.

The high today was 75. The low today was when I ate my lunch alone in my car.

always being prepared to minimize your web browser.

Being so hungover on March 18th that you turn the lights off when you get to the office. PGP.

Cigarettes were supposed to be a college thing

The only “present” I got for my 26th birthday was a health insurance bill. PGP.

Last one in, first one out.

My awful sunburn some how looks even worse under fluorescent lighting.

The online exit interview is the only thing I put effort into during this job