An apple a day does not keep the doctor away. PGP.

Being in a perpetual state of, “NO GOD! NO GOD PLEASE NO! NO! NO! NOOOOOOO!” PGP.

Printed my resume at work for the new job that I’m interviewing for while my boss was waiting behind me in the line. PGPowerMove.

Bachelor being the most romantic part of my week…and I’m in a relationship…#pgp

My life is now just a never ending cycle of Pepto-Bismol and sleeping pills. PGP.

Checking out her ring finger first. PGP.

My friend just had a kid on purpose. PGP.

Different shirt, same pants. PGP.

CCing on emails is the grownup version of tattletale

Interviewed a guy who reminded me of myself. I did not hire him because I know how much of a piece of shit I am. PGP.