I have been deleting this one girls number I can’t shake or seem to get away from. She always texts me a day or two after I delete l and I always put it back in my phone. Usually text her something ridiculous or drunk dial her once a month. Stay taking Ls with that succubus.
lol I go to the gym almost everyday. I would never take a date to the gym. Only someone I was in a relationship with. Why would it even be a good idea?
I take Quaaludes 10-15 times a day for my “back pain”, Adderall to stay focused, Xanax to take the edge off, pot to mellow me out, cocaine to wake me back up again, and morphine… Well, because it’s awesome.
I used to walk 18 all the time at my hometown course. After 4 old buddy let me and friends walk for free. Didn’t have to work out all summer and I was in great shape.
It’s tropical Thursday. Got a bumble date later on. Do I rock the Hawaiian shirt, that is the question. I am fixing to bend over Thursday and fuck her hard!
Bought some chocolate and red wine for myself. I’m gonna beat my dick like it stole something. Gotta be prepped for the big date tomorrow…. you know just in case?
After the Tar Heel loss I took way too many shots of tequila as therapy. I am now running late to work and have a massive hangover that coffee can’t fix.
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I have been deleting this one girls number I can’t shake or seem to get away from. She always texts me a day or two after I delete l and I always put it back in my phone. Usually text her something ridiculous or drunk dial her once a month. Stay taking Ls with that succubus.
“How many people have you slept with?” The answer is always 8!
lol I go to the gym almost everyday. I would never take a date to the gym. Only someone I was in a relationship with. Why would it even be a good idea?
I take Quaaludes 10-15 times a day for my “back pain”, Adderall to stay focused, Xanax to take the edge off, pot to mellow me out, cocaine to wake me back up again, and morphine… Well, because it’s awesome.
I used to walk 18 all the time at my hometown course. After 4 old buddy let me and friends walk for free. Didn’t have to work out all summer and I was in great shape.
Females are an interesting species
Don’t tie the coke bag up so tight that you can’t open it and black out way earlier than expected.
Shit I rock a Hawaiian shirt every Thursday. Do I wear it on the date. It’d be an aggressive move with lots of potential. Or it could be a flop.
It’s tropical Thursday. Got a bumble date later on. Do I rock the Hawaiian shirt, that is the question. I am fixing to bend over Thursday and fuck her hard!
Unless she jiggles the balls when you hit it doggy style. That’s a keeper
You guys know how much it costs to retire on a cruise ship vs on land?
$231,000 living on cruise ship.
$228,000 living on land.
Let’s fucking go.
I suspect heavy snow will be in the forecast for spring break.
Fucking commi
Bought some chocolate and red wine for myself. I’m gonna beat my dick like it stole something. Gotta be prepped for the big date tomorrow…. you know just in case?
After the Tar Heel loss I took way too many shots of tequila as therapy. I am now running late to work and have a massive hangover that coffee can’t fix.
The least trump can do is make Super Bowl Monday a federal holiday
Happy FTB Day (Fuck the boss day) it’s a trend at work. I’ll be watching Shameless
Dolphins never seem dangerous come playoff time
Rounds of tequila for the bar in hopes I’ll get lucky