One dude, doing a whole lot of Bizzy Dev running the Fed-Civ world, and being executive or something.
24 year old in a 47 year old person's world.
Irrational obsession with bowling.
On New Year’s Eve three years ago, I took 7 tequila shots in a single line (about 30 seconds) to catch up to a couple of friends who had been there for 2 hours already.
I then proceeded to not remember anything except for apparently throwing up over the balcony for 2 hours and then 5 hours the next morning..
The champagne bottle and Fireball I forced everyone to chug with me definitely didn’t help.
Also, my fraternity’s local Founders Day is on Cinco De Mayo and the next year, I finished a fifth of Cuervo Gold in 2 hours at 10am.
Now, I just gag when someone forces me to take a shot of it.
Meanwhile,
friend from law school met us at the bar around 1 already trashed.
Proceeded to rip more shots, then ended back at our place.
As I’m hugging the toilet, he needs to take a 2 so he goes to the 14th floor to use the bathroom without his wallet or phone, and somehow, he just left.
Hailed a cab to go to his place 15 miles away in DC, cabbie asks where to go and he says “i don’t know”. Cabbie kicks him out, he hails another cab two minutes later, it’s the same guy.
Proceeds to get home (fell asleep in the taxi so cabbie had to try to wake him for 5 mins) and finds that he has no wallet or phone to pay cabbie with, goes in to his place to find money, gives cabbie his work ID from his room as collateral.
Sends a text from his Mac at 4 am “i think i lost my life” to us and then falls asleep until the next morning..
Also left my card at the bar (after closing out) so I called and reported it lost/requested a new one bc I don’t believe in returning to the scene of the crime.
All of these make me feel infinitely better about my Saturday:
Brother was having a rooftop crabfeast in DC with some college friends so naturally, it was destined to be a shitshow.
There were watermelon jello slice things with entirely too much alcohol and I really enjoy watermelon, jello, and alcohol, so fast forward 4 hours to about 7pm, and I’ve eaten half of a alcohol jello watermelon.
I’m also drinking a myriad of other shot combinations bc I’ve gotten absolutely obnoxious and screaming that our lives are better and funnier than the Netflix “Friends from College” show. Proceed to go to the rooftop at night to make smores (it’s only 8pm at this point), there’s a host of other people and some families, and ofcourse I’m screaming Champagne Campaign and popping two bottles of champagne..
Proceed to play “Fuck you” with 11 people and fuck myself…then run around throwing Vitamin B complex pills at everyone to swallow and be rejuvenated.
Around 10pm, hyped to go out even though I should not be allowed anywhere at this point. Proceed to snort an adderall because it’ll “keep me from blacking out” although it turns out I may already be blacked out, then try to make my own ‘Tom Collins’ at home, which consisted of some good gin, Deep Eddys Lemon(to sub as the lemony taste) and half a tbsp of sugar.
Apparently had three more shots at the bar, hugged the toilet at home for 2 hours, then opted to sleep on the floor rather than a made bed for me.
Threw up in the morning for two more hours, (just acid at this point), then threw up at brunch..
It’s Monday and I’m still hungover. Help
Dates are awesome because even if it’s terrible, you still get a decent story out of it.
And if it’s good, you get 2+ stories out of it. And also, food.
Advertise
I hit you with a Nice Work even though I don’t care about WhatsApp bc I’m just so flabbergasted that you have that many downvotes already.
This is poppycock and dishwinkle.
Why, Will, Why?
Todd should have given an option of:
1) The Break-Up
2) Why Did I Get Married 2
3) Knocked Up
4) Anything else that could suggest anything crazy.
The Costco combo is a blessing from God. Greatest value meal of all time.
Sup
John showing Caroline the ring just to fuck with Todd even more.
Classic.
This was honestly the longest scenario I’ve read that ended in a funny joke. Great effort, Will.
On New Year’s Eve three years ago, I took 7 tequila shots in a single line (about 30 seconds) to catch up to a couple of friends who had been there for 2 hours already.
I then proceeded to not remember anything except for apparently throwing up over the balcony for 2 hours and then 5 hours the next morning..
The champagne bottle and Fireball I forced everyone to chug with me definitely didn’t help.
Also, my fraternity’s local Founders Day is on Cinco De Mayo and the next year, I finished a fifth of Cuervo Gold in 2 hours at 10am.
Now, I just gag when someone forces me to take a shot of it.
this hurt my soul. ouch.
Meanwhile,
friend from law school met us at the bar around 1 already trashed.
Proceeded to rip more shots, then ended back at our place.
As I’m hugging the toilet, he needs to take a 2 so he goes to the 14th floor to use the bathroom without his wallet or phone, and somehow, he just left.
Hailed a cab to go to his place 15 miles away in DC, cabbie asks where to go and he says “i don’t know”. Cabbie kicks him out, he hails another cab two minutes later, it’s the same guy.
Proceeds to get home (fell asleep in the taxi so cabbie had to try to wake him for 5 mins) and finds that he has no wallet or phone to pay cabbie with, goes in to his place to find money, gives cabbie his work ID from his room as collateral.
Sends a text from his Mac at 4 am “i think i lost my life” to us and then falls asleep until the next morning..
Also left my card at the bar (after closing out) so I called and reported it lost/requested a new one bc I don’t believe in returning to the scene of the crime.
All of these make me feel infinitely better about my Saturday:
Brother was having a rooftop crabfeast in DC with some college friends so naturally, it was destined to be a shitshow.
There were watermelon jello slice things with entirely too much alcohol and I really enjoy watermelon, jello, and alcohol, so fast forward 4 hours to about 7pm, and I’ve eaten half of a alcohol jello watermelon.
I’m also drinking a myriad of other shot combinations bc I’ve gotten absolutely obnoxious and screaming that our lives are better and funnier than the Netflix “Friends from College” show. Proceed to go to the rooftop at night to make smores (it’s only 8pm at this point), there’s a host of other people and some families, and ofcourse I’m screaming Champagne Campaign and popping two bottles of champagne..
Proceed to play “Fuck you” with 11 people and fuck myself…then run around throwing Vitamin B complex pills at everyone to swallow and be rejuvenated.
Around 10pm, hyped to go out even though I should not be allowed anywhere at this point. Proceed to snort an adderall because it’ll “keep me from blacking out” although it turns out I may already be blacked out, then try to make my own ‘Tom Collins’ at home, which consisted of some good gin, Deep Eddys Lemon(to sub as the lemony taste) and half a tbsp of sugar.
Apparently had three more shots at the bar, hugged the toilet at home for 2 hours, then opted to sleep on the floor rather than a made bed for me.
Threw up in the morning for two more hours, (just acid at this point), then threw up at brunch..
It’s Monday and I’m still hungover. Help
How do you pronounce Regina?
It all makes perfect sense now. I’m with ya 10300%
honestly still confused as to what you tried to say here.
honestly still confused as to what you tried to say.
Dates are awesome because even if it’s terrible, you still get a decent story out of it.
And if it’s good, you get 2+ stories out of it. And also, food.
Sup?
Sup? Wanna SUP?
This is good.