“I have a handful of very close guy friends whom I have never been physical with – not even a drunk make out session – since we became friends back when we were 18-19. We’re at the 26-27 age range now.”
$20 says any of those guys would bone you in a heartbeat if given the chance.
Your ex is still annoyed by some things that you do that are pretty deeply ingrained in your personality? And you can’t change them? Well holy shit, that just might be the surprise of the week.
Take it from someone who lives in San Francisco: there’s no way that a “straight guy roaming the gay bars” here is actually straight. So the author probably is a dude.
No mention of Kim Kardashian? True she’s probably one of the worst people in the world, but being tied up by robbers in a bathroom and having $10 million stolen (probably the equivalent of $100 for us common folk) doesn’t sound like the best way to spend a Sunday night.
Yet another amazing piece, thanks Madoff. If only your ethics were as good as your written reflections on life.
To this day, I attribute me turning out to become a somewhat mature, successful and functioning adult to my parents raising me with relatively few boundaries.
They would generally let me do as I wish as long as it didn’t hurt me and never set curfews. If I ever messed up, I wouldn’t get grounded and instead I would just get a head shake from my mom and a “I’m disappointed in you.” That phrase stung more than any punishment.
When (if) I ever have kids, I hope to raise them the same way.
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As said by our wonderful friends Meg Ryan and Billy Krystal:
Sally: So you’re saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry: No, you pretty much want to nail ’em too.
“I have a handful of very close guy friends whom I have never been physical with – not even a drunk make out session – since we became friends back when we were 18-19. We’re at the 26-27 age range now.”
$20 says any of those guys would bone you in a heartbeat if given the chance.
Sup
Good boyfriend or pussy whipped?
Have you been hanging out with Duda a lot recently?
To all the girls on this thread that like sports: sup?
You’re the only one that can help Todd, Jesus! Help him vanquish Girl, who is Satan reincarnate, and free Todd and Sperry from her evil clutches.
“Todd shrugged. Again, he knew that this wasn’t his decision…”
Their relationship in a nutshell. Jesus Christ, Todd is such a bitch. He deserves all this.
I’m sorry about your new Uber rating.
Your ex is still annoyed by some things that you do that are pretty deeply ingrained in your personality? And you can’t change them? Well holy shit, that just might be the surprise of the week.
Take it from someone who lives in San Francisco: there’s no way that a “straight guy roaming the gay bars” here is actually straight. So the author probably is a dude.
No mention of Kim Kardashian? True she’s probably one of the worst people in the world, but being tied up by robbers in a bathroom and having $10 million stolen (probably the equivalent of $100 for us common folk) doesn’t sound like the best way to spend a Sunday night.
Yet another amazing piece, thanks Madoff. If only your ethics were as good as your written reflections on life.
To this day, I attribute me turning out to become a somewhat mature, successful and functioning adult to my parents raising me with relatively few boundaries.
They would generally let me do as I wish as long as it didn’t hurt me and never set curfews. If I ever messed up, I wouldn’t get grounded and instead I would just get a head shake from my mom and a “I’m disappointed in you.” That phrase stung more than any punishment.
When (if) I ever have kids, I hope to raise them the same way.
Damn Duda, you’re vicious. I 100% agree with you though. Never dip your pen in the company ink.
Unless you work at a Big 4.
Author’s name checks out.
Harambe/Deez Nuts 2016
You should get used to disappointment. Life’s full of it.
19-Year-Old Bill: ‘Hey babe, we only had sex three times last night. Let’s double that today.”
25-Year-Old Bill: “We had sex twice last night and now my lower back hurts. Let’s wait a few days for it to heal before doing it again.”
“When my girlfriend greeted me at home with Chipotle and didn’t break up with me on the spot, I cried.”
Marry her.