My first night out on Bourbon preceded me waking up the next morning on a hardwood floor without a pillow or blanket, wearing a full suit and tie, and my debit card being stolen.
So basically just don’t be me circa 2011, but definitely do not wear a suit or any nice clothes/shoes that you care about.
I went to bachelor parties in Key West, NOLA, Austin, and Galveston last summer. Needless to say I’m still trying to re-hydrate my body and recoup my checking account.
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The Austin Rivers bit made me smile for a brief second, so thank you for that.
This was the worst article I’ve ever read on this website.
Full disclosure: I am a die-hard Mavs fan, Dirk is my favorite athlete, and I have been weeping softly at my desk all morning.
No such thing as a “no wiper” coffee dump.
If you don’t enjoy a song that references getting day-drunk, then you’re wrong.
Rule #1: Don’t ever listen to a guy named Tripp.
Please stop eating my goddamn leftovers, Clay.
I needed this, Shib. I will now be living the #MargLife at Jimmy Changas tonight. Just don’t judge me for not liking salt on my margs.
As well as the garage fridge that is full of my dad’s ice cold beer.
Go ahead and throw #1 out the window if you are a groomsman.
My first night out on Bourbon preceded me waking up the next morning on a hardwood floor without a pillow or blanket, wearing a full suit and tie, and my debit card being stolen.
So basically just don’t be me circa 2011, but definitely do not wear a suit or any nice clothes/shoes that you care about.
I went to bachelor parties in Key West, NOLA, Austin, and Galveston last summer. Needless to say I’m still trying to re-hydrate my body and recoup my checking account.
“Women be shoppin.” – Brian McGannon
I live in Texas, and I do love the amount of state tax I pay.
Someone has obviously never experienced the high of blacking-out in a suit.
I’m not old enough to date someone named Jean.
My girlfriend (humblebrag) is the store manager at a large Houston-area Forever 21 and it is one of the most God-awful places I’ve ever been.
I hope she doesn’t see this.
You always tell me you’re “meeting with a client” when you leave at 4:00….
No kid named Tanner is ever going to amount to anything athletically or socially.
I don’t mean to be rude, but I believe science or math can back up my claim.
Sarah hasn’t even made eye contact with me since I made the joke about “adjusting her entry” at happy hour last week…
Fuck you guys, my girlfriend is a treasure!