You need one other bench friend reserved for special (read: Friday or Saturday_ nights; the “Blackout Warrior”. This friend is the guy that urges you to just take “one more shot”, tells you he’s getting another round well after it’s cleared that your now textbook drunk, and pays for an Uber to the next bar so you can continue the night well beyond your mental curfew that you set for yourself before going out. This guy both simultaneously sucks and is awesome, hence why he isn’t in the starting rotation. Call him up to the main roster with extreme caution.
Out of curiosity, I looked up angry scorpion on Urban Dictionary. The definition is, and I quote:
“when you are about to have sex with a girl and you put icy hot on your c*ck (after you put a condom on) twist both of her nipples at the same time and thrust your c*ck into her p*ssy causing a stinging and burnig sensation”
Link: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=angry%20scorpion
I hate this guy but also kind of admire his gutsy take on life. I’m as confused as all the girls I ghosted back in college (dick move, but the past is what it is and acceptance is a form of recovery).
One of three possible ends to this:
1. Eric blacks out and has to pick up pieces of his evening, beginning with finding his phone and/or waller. Upon finding his window to the outside world, a slew of “interesting” texts are found. Results in text break up.
2. As Rodney Ruxin put, he flakes and tries desperately to patch up his mistake which only backfired into his girlfriend thinking that he does not trust her and that he is a beta male. Results in a break up at the airport.
3. The hail mary of scenarios is that his girlfriend realizes the error of her ways and spends the night texting/calling him begging for forgiveness. Odds are low on this one. Results in Eric breaking up with her after finding out that it was more than a little bump and grind.
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Damnit, meant to end my parenthesis instead of the underscore.
You need one other bench friend reserved for special (read: Friday or Saturday_ nights; the “Blackout Warrior”. This friend is the guy that urges you to just take “one more shot”, tells you he’s getting another round well after it’s cleared that your now textbook drunk, and pays for an Uber to the next bar so you can continue the night well beyond your mental curfew that you set for yourself before going out. This guy both simultaneously sucks and is awesome, hence why he isn’t in the starting rotation. Call him up to the main roster with extreme caution.
My Jewish soul agrees as well.
We are all just stupid sandwiches in the eyes of Gordon.
Out of curiosity, I looked up angry scorpion on Urban Dictionary. The definition is, and I quote:
“when you are about to have sex with a girl and you put icy hot on your c*ck (after you put a condom on) twist both of her nipples at the same time and thrust your c*ck into her p*ssy causing a stinging and burnig sensation”
Link: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=angry%20scorpion
This sums up the entire article in one sentence.
You’re the guy that is required in all friend groups; the support guy. I like you.
Love that account
Always a solid move.
Some IPAs from the local brewery
Unlike the actual POTUS Twitter account, this account gets better with age.
I reread this comment and now hate myself for how much “business” related jargon I used.
I hate this guy but also kind of admire his gutsy take on life. I’m as confused as all the girls I ghosted back in college (dick move, but the past is what it is and acceptance is a form of recovery).
Arcadia, we gotta have a follow up down the road to this series. Or at least a post mortem article this week to wrap it all up.
Arcadia, you are crushing it with this series.
PornHub: We move the white stuff
One of three possible ends to this:
1. Eric blacks out and has to pick up pieces of his evening, beginning with finding his phone and/or waller. Upon finding his window to the outside world, a slew of “interesting” texts are found. Results in text break up.
2. As Rodney Ruxin put, he flakes and tries desperately to patch up his mistake which only backfired into his girlfriend thinking that he does not trust her and that he is a beta male. Results in a break up at the airport.
3. The hail mary of scenarios is that his girlfriend realizes the error of her ways and spends the night texting/calling him begging for forgiveness. Odds are low on this one. Results in Eric breaking up with her after finding out that it was more than a little bump and grind.
It’s the double guns in your PGP pic that drew her in, bro.
I now have a strong desire to meet this Rondo guy
I too subconsciously sniff my fingers after spending some time at the five finger disco. Must just be a guy thing.