I’m Not Sure What To Think Of This Guy Who Keeps Dining And Dashing On Dates

I’m Not Sure What To Think Of This Guy Who Keeps Dining And Dashing On Dates

Dating is hard. Everything about it. But it’s supposed to be hard! If it wasn’t hard then everyone would do it. The hard is what makes it great.

It’s not easy asking an 11/10 Mount Saint Helens burning magma level smoke stack on a date. It’s not easy agreeing to meet up with some guy you met on the internet when you know in all likelihood all he wants to do is shove himself inside of you. It’s not easy juggling three women at once like some sort of dating circus performance artist, and it’s not easy beating up an ER nurse with a stiletto when you walk in on your man taking his schmeckle to pay dirt with her.

Men and women alike have to worry about more moving parts than the head of NASA, and now you can add dining and dashing to the list of fifty trillion things that could go wrong on a first date. Some dude in LA is going out with women, ordering outrageous meals, then deucing out mid-meal, belly and wallet full, his dates left to foot the bill.

Per Refinery29:

He’s handsome, he’s a voracious eater, and he has been taking women on dates, where he ghosts them mid-meal. And he leaves them with the bill. A notorious serial dine-and-dasher in the greater Los Angeles area has struck again, after making headlines last summer for committing the same offense.

One woman told CBS Los Angeles that his name is Paul Gonzales while another, who matched with him on Bumble, says he identified as Dave Gonzales. Both women were left with the bill for the meal after he fled from the date.

Gonzales meets women online, initiates dates in varied locations from Pasadena to Long Beach, and is “complimentary” and “chatty” in person. He isn’t shy about ordering a large amount of food — one woman said he ordered a glass of pinot, a Caesar salad with a side of shrimp, a steak and a baked potato — and when questioned, he’s reportedly said he’s a bodybuilder, according to an account in US Weekly. After scarfing down his meal, he makes an excuse to step away for a bit. Then he’s never heard from again.

Is this a dick move? Hellllll yeah. There’s a special circle of hell reserved for assholes like this. You can’t just con the women of LA out of a few Benjamins and get away with it. So he’ll get his. On this side or the other.

But what I want to address is the title of the article this news clip is taken from. The title is “Why is this guy dine & dashing on his dates?” There have been dumber headlines, and there will continue to be, but if you’re legitimately befuddled by this man’s behavior than you need a check with reality. Why is this man dining and dashing on his dates? Because he’s hungry AF, he – like the rest of us – is probably is broke AF, and he’s got a certain set of skills to better his situation (namely, his charm and good looks).

I would venture that this dude might actually be homeless, but since he’s on Bumble and ordering Pinot Noir rather than asking the server at Catch for their finest premium malt beverage, I’m guessing he’s got a roof, albeit one that’s wayyyyy overpriced and is forcing him to choose between housing/internet/phone or food. So, not homeless; he’s just got no money to pay for food.

I do have a hunch that he’s married. He doesn’t try to ever have sex with these women, he’s overly complimentary and chatty, he’s ordering fucking salad: this guy’s spent more time with women than just the first 75% of several first dates. There’s too much Pavlovian Conditioning in his behavior to suggest he’s single.

Final verdict? Why is this guy dining and dashing on his dates? Because he’s a broke married dude who just wants to get away from his wife for a little bit and eat at upscale restaurants with LA’s most eligible bachelorettes once in a while. And you know what? I said he’s an asshole, and he is. But I also think this is genius. Get away from your wife for a bit and also eat a free* steak? Wish I was that smart, to be honest.

*It’s always free if you never actually see the bill. That’s science.

Image via Shutterstock

[via Refinery29]

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Boston Max

Spending my retirement fund at Trader Joe's and trying to remember to check my mailbox semi-regularly

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