Don’t rush to judgement. You don’t know getting weird until you’re with a man that’s retired in his late 50s with nothing better to do but drink and golf. Dad’s are super cool, man.
I used to shave my legs/arms until the love of my life told me I looked and felt like a giant squid. Although it is 2017, so maybe she feels differently now
Tamed* bush is what life is all about. It says “I have self respect, but not to the point that you flexing in the mirror like Patrick Bateman will turn me off”
I moved home for 7 months. It’s the move 8 days a week. Once you’re out for a few years, your parents don’t try to bring down the rules like they would during college or right after. Plus nothing like a home cooked meal or a fresh pile a laundry from mama bear
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Don’t rush to judgement. You don’t know getting weird until you’re with a man that’s retired in his late 50s with nothing better to do but drink and golf. Dad’s are super cool, man.
Hell yeah brother. Be as safe as possible while drinking too much
It’s my last weekend as a not married man. LETS. GET. FUCKING. WEIRD.
Steak dinner with the parents tonight. Always fun relaxing at their place after a few too many drinks and a massive steak.
Saturday I’m golfing (last time I can without being questioned) followed by honeymoon shopping.
Sunday I’m going to enjoy NFL RedZone and drink too many beers until I realize “oh shit I just ate an entire bag of mini Oreos”
God bless y’all, God bless Texas. Have a great weekend flowers.
Get out of my head. I need the chicken life so bad
Just got the all clad set for our wedding. It’s next level. I also really love when I come home to a pot in the sink with food stuck to it……
Having nice things, and allowing your friends to see the nice things, is worth ruining your future with massive amounts of credit card debt
All I got from this is you have a couch behind your desk and I hate you for that
Yeah mines been doing it for a few days. Really killing my vibe
Are you blind, deaf, and mentally challenged?
I would “nice work” you but it won’t let me. I need that recipe
My goal in life is to be the guy that always brings a delicious dessert and dominates any games played at dinner parties
If you can love someone through the airport and while flying, you can love them through anything.
For the ‘gram
One trimmer. Just give it a good cleaning between uses
Please be joking
I used to shave my legs/arms until the love of my life told me I looked and felt like a giant squid. Although it is 2017, so maybe she feels differently now
Tamed* bush is what life is all about. It says “I have self respect, but not to the point that you flexing in the mirror like Patrick Bateman will turn me off”
And I always thought just having x ray vision would be a cool superpower…
I moved home for 7 months. It’s the move 8 days a week. Once you’re out for a few years, your parents don’t try to bring down the rules like they would during college or right after. Plus nothing like a home cooked meal or a fresh pile a laundry from mama bear
I’m so dependent on reminders, I have one for my wedding