Girl with the nudie loving fiancé…run. Not only is this the most bizarre question and situation I’ve ever seen, it’s also a ridiculous to me that you haven’t left and are engaged to this guy. Not only for the fact that googling naked women while a woman is next to you is extremely weird but also, and I’m sure other married/engaged men can confirm this, once you’re to that point in a relationship your desire to date/hook up with other women is (should be) gone.
Because girls aren’t shallow but they want to make sure you have a job that A) isn’t embarrassing to tell their friends and B) can support the lifestyle they desire
Friday:
Gas for trip to DFW $45
Chicken fil a for trip $15
Case of beer $20
Dinner at restaurant the wives “just had to try” $120
After dinner drinks $60
Saturday
Breakfast supplies $10
Beer and liquor $75
Train ticket $10
Game tickets $120
Late night Whataburger $20
Sunday
Gas for trip home $45
Mid trip gas station food $15
Firehouse subs dinner $18
Total $573
Sex
Wife let me rub her back Sunday night because she wasn’t feeling well
I usually try the “power move” of handing the waiter my card as he hands me the check without looking at it. Then I try not to cry as I sign the check and see the total for the first time
You see the tweet where someone asked “would you give up Watson for a World Series?” And the guys response was “in a heart beat” and now…here we are…heading into a winless second half of the season
Well, Will, I ignored your advice and went back. My bank account is empty, my body is shutting down, and my wife was quickly reminded she married an idiot
I used to be like you, wasting my life away in cheap Target or Academy shorts/joggers until I splurged on some Lululemon joggers last year and I haven’t looked back. I spend more on shorts/pants now than I do anything else and I’ll never regret it
Advertise
Or you could always pull out your phone and google “massive lap hog” and browse those pictures and see how he likes it
Girl with the nudie loving fiancé…run. Not only is this the most bizarre question and situation I’ve ever seen, it’s also a ridiculous to me that you haven’t left and are engaged to this guy. Not only for the fact that googling naked women while a woman is next to you is extremely weird but also, and I’m sure other married/engaged men can confirm this, once you’re to that point in a relationship your desire to date/hook up with other women is (should be) gone.
This is why I dipped my fingertips in acid the day I got engaged…
Because girls aren’t shallow but they want to make sure you have a job that A) isn’t embarrassing to tell their friends and B) can support the lifestyle they desire
Don’t be a chode
There*
I feel like I just watched a good episode of Behind the Music on VH1 with you dropping to act for a minute theee
Pecan pie or GTFO
Me every day for lunch: “this chicken from home doesn’t look good. I’ll go to Chick Fil A”
Me every night in the shower: “I am a fat disgusting pig”
Me every night after the shower: “a full sleeve of Oreos sounds delicious while I watch Netflix”
Me every night before bed: “I wonder why my wife isn’t jumping my bones every night for sex”
Didn’t even know it had a rooftop. Now I’m really upset
HG Supply something or another. Some trendy place and I was hungry an hour later.
Friday:
Gas for trip to DFW $45
Chicken fil a for trip $15
Case of beer $20
Dinner at restaurant the wives “just had to try” $120
After dinner drinks $60
Saturday
Breakfast supplies $10
Beer and liquor $75
Train ticket $10
Game tickets $120
Late night Whataburger $20
Sunday
Gas for trip home $45
Mid trip gas station food $15
Firehouse subs dinner $18
Total $573
Sex
Wife let me rub her back Sunday night because she wasn’t feeling well
I usually try the “power move” of handing the waiter my card as he hands me the check without looking at it. Then I try not to cry as I sign the check and see the total for the first time
You’re girlfriend sounds like a saint. When are you getting engaged again?
And it’s never a good time to make a shit bottom level joke about “Texans shooting things”. At least put some effort into your “jokes”
You see the tweet where someone asked “would you give up Watson for a World Series?” And the guys response was “in a heart beat” and now…here we are…heading into a winless second half of the season
Well, Will, I ignored your advice and went back. My bank account is empty, my body is shutting down, and my wife was quickly reminded she married an idiot
I keep it simple and switch it up between “thanks” and “best”. Unless I’m emailing my mom, then I say “God bless”. She likes that.
I’d let my dog lick food out of my mouth before sleeping in our bed
I used to be like you, wasting my life away in cheap Target or Academy shorts/joggers until I splurged on some Lululemon joggers last year and I haven’t looked back. I spend more on shorts/pants now than I do anything else and I’ll never regret it