New title, same pay. PGP.

The boss is with me all week. PGP.

I need to get a girlfriend soon or people will start asking questions. PGP.

Waking up early to workout but convincing yourself that sleep would be more beneficial. PGP.

Too tired for sex. PGP.

I have no idea what my credit score is. PGP.

“Yeah, he’s calmed down a lot since college.” PGP.

Never getting used to how awkward you sound on your voicemail. PGP.

“Come to think of it, I probably had a drinking problem in college.” PGP.