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About this time last year, you and I had to have a little conversation about the outrage over holiday cups at Starbucks. To be fair, most of you were like “Yeah cool, who cares about cups whose only purpose is to hold my over-priced caffeine fix and then gets thrown away when my coffee is gone?”
But then there were the small group of people who just couldn’t let it go. And how do I know this? Because here I am, one year later, yet again discussing the outrage about this year’s Starbucks holiday cups. This year’s scandal comes after Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz debuted new green cups on November 1. According to US Weekly:
In a statement, Schultz explained that the new design — which features a mosaic of more than a hundred people drawn in one continuous stroke — is a reminder of our “shared values and the need to be good to each other.” The cup, Schultz said, was created as a symbol of unity amid the divisive election.
I highly doubt a cup is going to provide the healing we need, but I appreciate the effort. But, of course, the internet does not. While the company has given no indication that the green cup is replacing the iconic red holiday cup, the people of Twitter apparently decided it was so, and started to attack the company, asking why none of the faces on the cup are Jesus (seriously, I can’t make this shit up) and why Starbucks hates Christmas.
Now, for those of you that are truly concerned about this, I have an important question. I want to make sure you all hear me, so gather ’round, my friends. Here it is:
What the actual fuck is wrong with you people?
I said this last year, but it bears repeating since you obviously weren’t listening: there are more important things to be outraged about then Starbucks holiday cups. Apparently the list of alternative topics I presented you with then didn’t do the job, so let me try this again.
We are four days away from an election that, due to the likely seats on the Supreme Court at stake, will shape the direction of our country for many years to come. Head over to nscl.org to educate yourself on the issues up for vote in your state.
According to The American Cancer Society, about 10,380 children in the United States under the age of 15 will be diagnosed with cancer in 2016. After accidents, cancer is the second leading cause of death in children aged 1 to 14.
Let me drop some domestic violence facts on you: One woman is beaten by her husband or partner every 15 seconds in the United States. Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women between the ages of 15 and 44 in the United States, more than car accidents, muggings, and rapes combined. There are 16,800 homicides and 2.2 million (medically treated) injuries due to intimate partner violence annually, which costs $37 billion. Nearly three out of four (74%) of Americans personally know someone who is or has been a victim of domestic violence. 30% to 60% of perpetrators of intimate partner violence also abuse children in the household. #ItsOnUS
According to the RAND Center for Military Health Policy Research, of the 1.7 million veterans who served in Iraq and Afghanistan, 300,000 (20 percent) of the vets suffer from either major depression or post-traumatic stress disorder. But only approximately 50% of returning service members who need treatment for mental health conditions seek it and only slightly more than half who receive treatment receive adequate care. (SAMSHA.gov)
November is National Adoption Awareness Month. According to AdoptUSKids.org, the most recent federal data states that there are currently more than 400,000 children in foster care in the United States. Obviously, you aren’t ready to adopt since you can’t keep a houseplant alive, but something to consider later.
All that, and yet someone, somewhere woke up this morning and said, “You know what I’m really worried about today? Those Starbucks holiday cups.” And you want to know the really scary part about that? Their vote counts just as much as yours on Tuesday. I’ll just be over here sipping on my skinny cinnamon dolce latte with two Splendas while you contemplate that. .
Image via weedezign / Shutterstock.com
I’m starting to like the whole “meteorite destroying the planet” concept more and more.
Call me Scott Stapp cause I welcome my Sweet Meteor of Death overlord with arms wide open.
#GiantMeteor2016
Wouldn’t hate it. I’ve lived a good life. short, but good.
2NOTBrokeGirls must need some beer money for the weekend. Three columns in like 20 minutes. Respect the hustle though.
I’m actually on a cruise and it’s raining. But close enough.
Do they not have a bar with guys you can flirt, I mean talk football with?
That’s my nighttime activity. Gotta wait until they’ve been drinking all day before I make my move.
Respect the hustle
Or she’s stuck in a layover and bored af
Amazing how productive one can be in an airport lounge…until you peak on free booze, and that productivity drops off a fucking cliff.
Every November people get angry about Starbucks cups in my name, and I just sigh in frustration. Idiots taking shit way too seriously.
Seriously. Why can’t they just live the #WineLife like you did?
Does anything NOT offend someone anymore? I swear people just bitch to seem relevant in their pathetic lives
That’s offensive
I’m offended that you’re offended.
I’m too apathetic to be offended by much anymore but I still have a pathetic life. PGP.
Well, you are an alien drinking a beer.
Jesus, curious to know your thoughts on extra terrestrial life? Are humans the only ones out here or have your people been lying to us?
The best part is that these are some new thing for unity during election season… The actual holiday cups are coming in december. But the people that are getting angry about it wouldn’t take the time to find out anyway
I am more offended they feel their shitty coffee is worth $6…
Let me just drink my gingerbread latte in peace without discussing the damn cup.
I still don’t get why people get outraged over designs on cups they’re going to throw away in ten minutes.
The Starbucks red cups are coming next week. These are just special cups for the election.
You’re turning into your girlfriend, man.
Soon-to-be-ex, god willing.
I don’t think anyone actually gives a fuck.