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I’m a massive mountain man. I like to eat. I like to eat things that only the manliest men eat. We are talking four main food groups: meat, cheese, potatoes, and bread. If my meal doesn’t involve those food groups, then I don’t want it. Salad? It’s for the birds. I don’t eat vegetables, I just eat the animals that eat the vegetables. I’ll eat the occasional house salad when I have to, but recently I had an experience that changed my entire outlook on the salad game. Have y’all ever had a Caesar salad?
It’s got cheese. It’s got bread. It’s got a good sauce. The combination of cheese, croutons, and dressing makes the lettuce bearable. I am all in on the Caesar salad. Let’s not forget that the Caesar salad is the most American salad in existence. It was created by an Italian immigrant who got swamped during a Fourth of July rush at his restaurant. Short on kitchen supplies, this dude just ad-libbed a salad from what he had, tossed it around table-side, and changed history forever.
The core of the salad is romaine lettuce, parmesan cheese, croutons, and a dressing consisting of garlic, salt, pepper, lemon juice, and Worcestershire sauce. Some psychos put anchovies on their Caesar, but if I’m going to branch out I just stick to a grilled chicken topper.
I would like to invite you to come join the winning team, I’m talking about team Caesar. How lame is a house salad? You’ll get some lettuce that’s usually not even quality whereas with the Caesar you’re only getting the finest chopped romaine. The house salad then has some ice cold half-peeled cucumbers, a couple cherry tomatoes, some red onions, some egg, maybe some shredded carrots and some cheese and croutons. Sad! Then you top it all off with some fattening ranch dressing or maybe some French or raspberry vinaigrette if you think you’re fancy. Well you’re not, because if you want to live like a king, you have to eat the salad named after a king (kind of). Caesar is obviously better than some peasant living in a house. Poors! Your house salad has probably been sitting in a bowl in the fridge back in the kitchen for 6 hours while my Caesar salad is being prepared and tossed for me right beside my table while I sip on my Old-Fashioned and watch in awe. I won’t talk too much trash on the chef salad, because that’s a fairly manly salad. I simply want to create a dialogue between the two salad choices that typically accompany a fat and juicy ribeye and a loaded baked potato.
In fact, do not even associate with me if you are team house salad. From now on I will only associate with real winners who eat real winning Caesar salads. If you don’t order your steak medium-rare and your salad Caesar, then you are simply not in my social class. I will not acknowledge nor talk to you. Instead, I will laugh down at you and use you for a foot rest while I consume my barely-cooked perfectly marbled slab of beef paired with my cheesy and crispy salad. I eat Caesar salads and I am better than you..
Respond
@delph_13
@gdelph13
gdelph
Grilled chicken Caesar salads are my favorite “healthy but not actually healthy” lunch choice
Chicken Caesar wrap serves the same purpose for me.
Oh my friend, if you don’t know the joy of a blue cheese wedge salad before a 26 oz porterhouse you haven’t lived.
Or haven’t been out with a company credit card…
Wedge or GTFO.
Caesar salads are great. Best salad with steak? No. Here’s the best salad to go with a steak: Arugula with croutons and shaved Parmesan. Dress it with fresh squeezed lemon juice, a little olive oil, and the juice from under your properly rested steaks. You’re welcome.
Steak juice as a salad dressing is the absolute move
This was an incredibly specific take, but I love it. That sounds fantastic
My mouth is watering. Sup?
I wish Caesar salads were the default side salad and not house
Caesar>House salad any day. Also fun fact, the original Caesar salad did not have anchovies, so anyone who insists on including that in the dressing can stfu.
Anchovies are in Worcestershire sauce…
Don’t be such a stickler and let us LIVE
serious question: is a caesar salad served on a plate, bowl, or that weird hybrid bowl plate deal ?
definitely the weird hybrid bowl plate deal
This is a Good Take.
I’ll never forget summer of 2006. We went on a family cruise that served the best cesar salads known to man. If I ate one, I ate 72 of those things that week.
I seriously doubt that the best anything known to man can be found on a cruise ship.
Get your negativity outta here
I’ve had some of my best meals on cruise ships. The food is legit most of the time.
Trust me those Filipino Disney cooks are the best in the biz.
Had one for lunch today without any thought.
Never met an article I related to more. #Caesarlife