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We’re mixing it up today. To be completely transparent, nothing new is going on in my current bachelor party prep. And because I like to do the occasional mailbag (remember the business bag? I’m sure 8 of you do), I thought this would be the time to answer a couple questions. We firmly believe that we are the utmost authority on all things bachelor party, and I dare you to tell me otherwise. Plus, New Orleans is one of my favorite places on earth, so I’m obviously going to kick knowledge on the matter.
Hey Dave, big fan of the site and your fire content. I have a group of 15 going to Nola for a bachelor party, and wanted to see what you’d recommend. Drinks, food, music, and weird swamp/voodoo recommendations are all appreciated. Thanks man
I’ve mentioned this many times, but I did my bachelor party in the NOLA. Despite the oppressive heat (it was July) and the smell of trash permeating Bourbon, it was exactly what needed to happen. My go-to spots: The Beach on Bourbon, The Bulldog and The Gold Mine are three that immediately come to mind (not #spon). Each has its own subtle character that makes it a must when putting together an itinerary.
The Beach is a controversial pick because of the perception that its a bit touristy, but don’t let that stop you. For daytime boozing, it’s a good alternative to Pat O’s. You bring the bachelor in there, he’s getting the full treatment. I think I sprained my MCL playing some game where you have to pick up a shot off the ground with no hands. Cheesy? Sure. But my group text is still discussing it.
Looking for the jeans and button-down crowd? The move is clearly Carousel Bar. I honestly love going here because the bartenders are always fantastic. I’ve heard people dismiss this place as a novelty, the bar spins, but I like the vibe for an early in the night cocktail. Music is great, too. You’ll almost feel important.
Let’s talk blackouts. Ah, the Gold Mine. What can I say about this bar that hasn’t been said by every late-twenties d-bag that’s visited New Orleans? You’ll leave your credit card there, and you may even pass out standing up. It’s the only bar in NO that I’ve heard play “Tops Drop.” My favorite bar to stumble into post-midnight.
Now let’s talk Bulldog (Magazine Street). For me, one of my fondest boys trip memories occurred on their patio. I was in my element. It was the closest I’ve ever been to firing on all cylinders. We had guys getting numbers from, I shit you not, certified sevens. That’s not supposed to happen. It’s just the vibe you need on a Saturday afternoon.
Honorable mention: Razoos. A nice little spot where your bachelor will be forced to some kind of trash tube shot from a bartender’s mouth after being stripped of his shirt. Then comes the whipped cream. Great stuff.
Let’s get into the meat of this response. Fine dining. An entire meal of food.
You should never leave New Orleans without devouring a three-piece spicy from Popeye’s. Sure, you have one in your town, but it’s not the same. It’s the absolute best way to balance out all the bullshit sugared out drinks you’ll be talked into drinking on Bourbon. Red beans and rice on the side. Mashed potatoes work too, though. If you leave that town without brownout eating Popeye’s, you’ll regret for the rest of your life.
Since we’re talking fine dining, let’s not overlook Drago’s. I think it goes overlooked, but that menu is fantastic. I think most everything on the menu is under 30 bones, and that’s quite a deal, folks.
Now for a brunch option. Follow me on this one. The Court of Two Sisters has a phenomenal brunch and courtyard, but they reckon themselves to be a bit fancy. Good friend of the site and podcast, Stu, was denied access in his throwback Rockets jersey, pictured here:
You seriously not going to let this man in your establishment? Big miss on their part. Stu is THAT DUDE.
What travesty. Despite the blatant Houston postgrad profiling, they have a fantastic brunch. It’s also some of the best people watching in the world. Families and bachelor/bachelorette parties on their death beds galore. What a mix. The Ruby Slipper Cafe is a great brunch spot too, but I have no recollection of being there (hell yeah this dude drinks).
Dave,
Going to be a groomsman at my high school buddy’s wedding in early October. I play on the softball team with the best man and the groom lives about 2 hours away so he’s rarely around. Since being the best man in February, there has been little to no movement on the bachelor party. Anytime I ask when I’m with him, the guy says that the groom has been busy and will get back to him on possible options. I now just found out the best man is moving to Charleston SC in 3 weeks so his mind will definitely be elsewhere for the foreseeable future.
So should I just let them handle the bachelor party and finalize the plans? Even if there’s a slight chance there’s no bachelor party? Or should I try to make a play for taking the lead on these plans? Ever since high school, I consider both to be fairly big procrastinators.
Jon
Oh, man. Why’s this guy honey dicking the squad? I love a good mail-in from a best man. You never want to be that guy, or even be associated with him. His failure will stay with him for years. I think the move is to make one more stern plea to the best man, and if there’s no movement within 10 days, then go over his head to the groom. Remember, if you see something, say something.
There’s no shame in looking like a prick for a good cause. Everyone involved will respect you for taking the lead. Hell, you should even put it on your LinkedIn. I’ll endorse you for it (David Ruff on LinkedIn). Depending on what type of trip you’ve got planned, now may be the time to act. If it’s just a bar crawl in your town? You can honey dick this thing until the month of. But if there’s travel involved, don’t procrastinate. If your group has older guys, families and obligations come into play. Some guys, and I won’t name names, need like 2 months in advance to even play golf. Sad times, man. Best of luck.
As always, hit me in Twitter DMs or via electronic mail with any bachelorette/bachelor/best man related questions..
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Dave
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The subtle drop of “honey-dick” in here was the deepest Touching Base callback possible.
Only time I’ve been to NOLA, my dad and I got hammered with a bunh of SEC network execs on NYE (fuck bama, s’co Bucks). Ended up at a strip club with my dad, where he threw me $200 in cash and left to get fried chicken across the street while “Vanity” cleaned out my pockets.
Ouch
Dave, you’re my guy. That picture of you getting disrobed by that bartender is a classic. You conscious. You’re vertical. Nothing going on between the ears. It’s like when someone asks Homer Simpson what he’s thinking. We’ve all been there.
If you lose your wallet in NOLA (read: you pass out in a gutter and someone steals it) just go to the police station and file a report. They basically give you a slip of paper that allows you through security at MSY. The more you know….
I love how much you love Popeye’s
EVERYONE LOVES POPEYE’S
As a guy who just returned from NOLA last week for a bachelor party, I want to touch on something Dave neglected to bring to our attention: This place will change you, forever. This is a city unlike any you have ever been to in your life. A city where lawlessness and excess will consume you. A city that will push you to the brink and have you second guess every instinct you have ever had. A city that will have to return home and truly question who you are as a man. If you are going to NOLA for a bachelor party, I wish you the best…but I expect the worst.
Is that dude in the second photo rocking Pit Vipers?
Yes. Stu is that man.
I’m honestly pretty triggered that they wouldn’t let him in with the Rockets jersey. Our world has gone to shit, man.
We need more “Dave in Nola” pics
If you’re going to Nola hit up F&Ms definitely best after hours bar.
are you newly turned 21? if not, skip fumps.
and Grits
Both of these places remind me of my college town bars in the worst possible way. Yes, I’ve danced on the pool table at 3am…
Some of the lowest points of my life have taken place in Razoos