The 50 Best PGPs Of 2014

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2014 was a great year for PGP. In year two, we reached tens of millions of people and documented the worst best PGPs from postgrads everywhere. Here’s to more PGPs, fewer Steves and bigger power moves in 2015.

  1. Any time someone emails me with a question, it takes every ounce of my will power not to answer, “I have no fucking idea, dude.” PGP.
  2. Getting a call for an interview, but having no clue what it’s for because you’ve applied to so many jobs. PGP.
  3. The countdown to happy hour started at the end of last night’s happy hour. PGP.
  4. Just learned I have to carry a separate business iPhone, making me look like the biggest douche of all-time. PGP.
  5. Being subjected to sitting in the one chair that squeaks in the conference room during a meeting. PGP.
  6. Coffee for breakfast, Red Bull for lunch, beer for supper. PGP.
  7. The awkward stare-down when walking down the hallway toward your boss. PGP.
  8. Until recently, I thought Ariana Grande was a font in Microsoft Office. PGP.
  9. My friends are all getting engaged. I’m still puking on street corners. PGP.
  10. One of the women in my office wants me to do a squat challenge with her. PGP.
  11. The looks you get when you have the sniffles during a meeting. PGP.
  12. That one guy who tells you inappropriate jokes simply because you are the youngest guy in the office. PGP.
  13. Getting yelled at by your boss because you have been making the intern water the fake plants for the last three months. PGP.
  14. Yesterday was my boss’s birthday and we ate at a Brazilian steakhouse on the company card. Today was my birthday and I ate a Wendy’s baconator alone in my car. PGP.
  15. Needing 2-3 years experience for every entry level job, which makes absolutely no sense. PGP.
  16. Submitting one resume and immediately planning a life based around that potential job. PGP.
  17. If you’re ridiculously busy and your day still drags, that’s when you know you truly hate your job. PGP.
  18. Just had an hour-long conversation with my mom…and I liked it. PGP.
  19. It’s almost “drive to work in the dark, drive home in the dark” season. PGP.
  20. All my friends are assholes, but I have no idea where you find new ones. PGP.
  21. Netflix autopay just overdrafted my checking account. PGP.
  22. Started upper-middle class now I’m poor. PGP.
  23. My best friend just bought a house. I just bought a Cheesy Gordita Crunch with change. PGP.
  24. Scoping out attractive drivers on your morning commute. PGP.
  25. Making the wardrobe transformation from “business professional” to “homeless person” as soon as you get home. PGP.
  26. Praying there’s a hot secretary when you drop something off at another company’s office. PGP.
  27. The customer is never right. PGP.
  28. I found out my current job was posted on LinkedIn, so I applied for it. PGPM.
  29. Just gave my two weeks during my annual performance review. DOBBY IS A FREE ELF. PGP.
  30. I miss being able to relate to TFM. PGP.
  31. Being a democrat in college and a republican after your first paycheck. PGP.
  32. I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of my life, assuming I die by Monday. PGP.
  33. I literally did nothing at work today. Seriously, nothing. PGP.
  34. This whole Ray Rice thing really makes me wonder how many times someone has seen me pick my nose while riding an elevator alone. PGP.
  35. Buying a plant for your cubicle because you heard it helps with depression. PGP.
  36. The insanely difficult 5:30 decision between hitting the gym or bottle. PGP.
  37. If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit. PGP.
  38. My manager saw me wearing aviators and now everytime I call him he answers with, “Talk to me, Goose.” PGP.
  39. I just changed my Netflix password and got angry texts from three of my exes. HBO Go is next. PGPM.
  40. My company put me in charge of ordering new business cards for everyone. Say hello to your new Executive Vice President of Marketing Coordination. PGPM.
  41. Realizing that everyone has a Bachelor’s degree and your time and money spent in college made you average. PGP.
  42. Too old to have roommates. Too poor to live alone. PGP.
  43. Too young to fit in with the coworkers, too old for the interns. PGP.
  44. Fruit is fucking expensive. PGP.
  45. Can we all just agree that the international sign for “Leave me alone” is eating lunch at your desk? PGP.
  46. Finally getting the automated rejection email for a job you applied for 18 months ago. PGP.
  47. At this point, I could consider myself a born again virgin. PGP.
  48. Getting so bored at work that you actually do work. PGP.
  49. Watching all these Ice Bucket Challenges make me glad I don’t have that many friends anymore. PGP.
  50. Just swiped right because I saw granite counters and stainless steel. PGP.

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Brian McGannon

What do I love? I love happy hour, a good golf tan, and getting moderately drunk during dinner.

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