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Back in July, I got a promotion. I took a risk, shot my shot, and crushed it. Without going into too much detail about my company (because I signed the NDA), I went from assessing and handling risks to training the people that assess and handle risks. I was really, really excited about that, until I realized that we would be going on a three-month long hiring sprint from mid-September through mid-November, ending in mid-December.
About halfway through the sprint, my parents asked me if I wanted to join them and the rest of my family on a New Years trip to Punta Cana, to which I obviously said yes. Well friends, the sprint is over, and New Years is here. Today is my last day at the office for the next week, and naturally, I had to talk to a few people. Some of these talks were good, some were bad. Let’s rank them.
5. Luke, my Boss’ Boss
I’ve known Luke for about a year now, and honestly, I just can’t get a read on him. He’s fantastic about speaking in front of crowds, but the second you get him in a one-on-one scenario, he can see right through you. He caught me working late last night, hustling on some Google Sheets so that I would have less stuff to do today. Today he asked me why I was working so hard last night. When I told him that I was going on vacation tomorrow, he shook his head and said, “Oh, I gotcha,” while looking at my boss behind me.
I’m not sure what that means, and now I’m paranoid.
4. Katie, Coworker On My Team
Not amazing, not terrible. Sorry Katie, but you bring nothing to the table and trying to have a conversation with you about anything other than Black Mirror is like pulling teeth.
3. Garrett, Work Buddy Who Hates His Job
I’m putting Garrett at the middle of the pack for two reasons. The first is because he’s genuinely enthusiastic about me going on this trip. We both started here at around the same time, so naturally, we bonded. We want to see each other succeed, and have a good time doing it.
The second reason that I’m putting him at the middle of the pack is because, frankly, the guy hates it here, and the conversation was kind of sad. At one point he said, “Make sure you take a lot of pictures so that I can imagine doing cool shit one day,” which I know is not far from what he’ll do if he sees pictures of me in a Hawaiian shirt on a catamaran somewhere in the Caribbean.
2. Elizabeth, Cute Secretary
Her: I’m sooooooo jealous of you! I haven’t been on a trip like that in forever!
Me: I know, I know. I’m really lucky I get to go. I’m just worried about what kind of tan line this beard is going to give me!
Her: *Looks at the ground, then back up at me* Oh, I’m sure it’ll be really cute. You have a knack for that kind of thing.
Me: Ahh, I don’t know. These days I normally look like the upper half of a vanilla soft-serve ice cream cone with my shirt off, so I’m sure the beard-tan-line won’t help that mess.
Ranking this at the runner-up because I realized an hour later that she might have been flirting with me.
1. Janitorial Staff
I won the admiration of our janitorial staff a few months back. I’m not sure how I did it, seeing as they have a general distaste towards anyone who isn’t of their kin. Maybe it was by saying, “Thank you,” the time I spilled coffee on the carpet. I don’t know, common courtesy gets you places sometimes.
Either way, when Grant came up to me today to tell me that he heard through the grapevine that I was going to Punta Cana, and I confirmed it, his eyes lit up. He was like a kid on Christmas. He was giving me advice, teaching me how to say, “Hey man, do you know where I can get some weed?” in Spanish, and telling me how to eat all of the traditional Dominican foods—which, admittedly, was weird, because he’s white. But when I asked him why he was showing me all of this, he said the following:
“You’ve just been busting your ass for the last few months, looking stressed as hell, and I want to make sure you hit the ultimate level of relaxation.”
Thanks, Grant. I do need to hit my ultimate level of relaxation so that I start 2017 off right. Let’s go. .
Image via Shutterstock
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Charlie
Using sarcasm as a defense mechanism since 1993. At any given moment I'm either tired, drunk, or stressed out. Get at me at charliepgp@gmail.com or whatever.
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I sent Grant. You’re welcome. And you better lock that girl down, otherwise you’re a failure in my eyes.
So quick question for the group have any of you guys gone on a trip alone before? I wanna take a vacation but don’t really have anyone that can go with me right now, trying to gauge if it’s a good idea or it’s just sad and depressing.
I’m actually planning a camping trip during Easter to the Outer Banks by myself. Stoked.
I just got back from a week in Dublin and Zurich. I enjoyed it in the sense you can go do whatever you want whenever you want. The only downside is if you don’t feel like going out, there’s nobody to pull you out. Find a city where there’s a lot going on socially. I liked Dublin, a lot to do in the surrounding area and it’s relatively cheap compared to the rest of Europe.
Typed it in at the same time as me
This makes sense, I guess it probably depends on the location
Trips abroad are pretty great by yourself because you’re able to plan what you want to see without needing someone else’s thoughts on it. If you’re a museum person you can spend days checking out different ones, same thing for if you’re a just sit on the beach all day every day person. Bonus is if you’re willing to stay in a hostel you can meet some fun and wild people.
More fun with peeps. Especially if you’re going out and planning to drink.
Nice though if you need the alone time.
I want to go backpacking in Thailand but don’t know anyone. I’d legitimately be up for working this out if you’re into backpacking.
Sorry man I’m not, if I travel abroad I’m doing Europe. I don’t get the obsession with Taiwan, it just not my kind of place, I’m more of Italy kind of guy.
Thailand* fucking phone.
Thailand* stupid phone
Went on a solo weekend trip to Portland last year and it was one of my favorite trips. Highly suggest it!
I’m getting ready for a solo vacation to Europe. Going with a group of 18 through a travel group aimed at post grads. Honestly kind of excited to go solo. Choosing your own schedule is kind of great.
Can you give me the name of that company?
EF College Break. They’re aimed at recent college grads trying to travel before being stuck at a 9 to 5. They’re well experienced and I’ve really enjoyed working with them!
just spent the last few years being insufferable and traveling around Europe, did some solo travel in there as well as trips with or to visit friends, depends on where you’re going but I had some amazing times on some solo trips, totally does depend on the city though.
Happy to give you my email if you have any questions.
You come back. You own that tan line. You get that 2017 roster up and running.
#NoRagretzIn2017
This column is a not so subtle brag. Enjoy the trip my friend, I used a PTO day on January 2nd so I could have some resemblance of a Vacation. (3 day weekend!)
A vacation being one extra day to binge on Netflix while not wearing pants in the comfort of your own home #PGP
Needing to burn PTO because your company doesn’t observe the holiday the day after. PGP.
Must be nice
You better close on ol’ Liz.
Ol boy better be bringing her something back from the DR or I will never feel bad for him again.
If you don’t make a move on that secretary when you get back, you’re starting 2017 off wrong
Stock guy and girl better talk to HR about this
All 7 of my pre vaca conversations tie at 5.
A little too self deprecating to your girl Elizabeth.