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“Mistakes were made”, muttered Jim Harbaugh (props for using one of my favorite Nixon-isms) following a stunner that saw his Wolverines lose to Michigan State on a last-second botched punt. Michigan State being my alma mater, I was, of course, elated. I don’t particularly care for the University of Michigan. But why do I care so much about a game of football between some 20-year-old kids? I put my entire self-worth on any given Saturday in the fall into a football game.
I’ll admit that it’s juvenile. I’m not a betting man, so it’s not like I have money on any of these games. Sure, there’s an emotional investment, but after losing the ability to speak following that botched punt, a girl in the crew I was with asked me why I care so much. Why am I nervous-chugging Bud Lights and mumbling incoherently to myself when my squad makes an error? The simple answer is simple: I don’t know why.
I could have given her the cliché “it helps me escape reality for a few hours each Saturday,” the “I played football in high school” line (I didn’t, I golfed in high school), or the “I really get a sense of camaraderie cheering for these guys.” And those are all pretty valid reasons to tune into a game during the autumn months. I won’t knock you if you said any of those things. But at the end of a game does it really matter who won or lost? Not really. Not in the grand scheme. You’re going to be drunk either way. You might be crying into a double-well whiskey and coke, but the sun is going to come up on Sunday morning win or lose.
So yeah, college football is a silly thing to get worked up about. I get it. But it’s not any less silly than the girl who sits down on her couch with a bottle of wine and watches a Scandal marathon. This girls night doesn’t get ruined by a game. Her night goes to shit when Olivia continues to choose work over love in the newest episode. You don’t see me asking her why she’s sobbing into her merlot.
Or, what about the guy who skips out on football Saturdays to go fly fishing for six hours, then posts that oh so original photo of himself with a steelie. Congratulations, you’re a regular Paul Maclean. You headed to the speakeasy to gamble afterwards? I prefer to buy my fish and booze at a grocery store we don’t live in Prohibition-era America. But you won’t see me ask him why he’s pissed when he comes back empty handed after a day on the river.
“Why do you care so much?” Everyone has hobbies. The majority of them are just as stupid as rooting for a sports team.
I wish I didn’t care about sports. My life would be exponentially more relaxed. I’ve actually decided to boycott Lions football for the remainder of the season because I can’t relax when they’re on. But in 2015, I just can’t take the anguish that comes from watching Dan Orlovsky come in for relief at quarterback.
I just can’t stand the people that knowingly come to a bar where every TV has a different football game on, and then in turn complain the entire afternoon because “Uggggh, this is so boring.” In college, this was the girl in the student section who would buy season tickets, show up for a quarter and then either sit down and whine or just straight up no show because Kappa Sig was having really sick party. Spoiler alert: they weren’t having a sick party, she just really didn’t want to watch football.
I have a guilty pleasure, and it’s getting way too hyped about my teams doing well. It’s reality television except it’s not edited to shit and the drama isn’t fabricated. I’ve had ex-girlfriends who despise all sports. Fine, whatever, I can absolutely work with that. I almost prefer that to the girl that’s always trying to be a “guy’s guy” and just regurgitates whatever she hears from television analysts and people in her office.
Before I get jumped on by the wannabe Lena Dunhams of the world, if you’re a girl that can form an original thought about whatever sport is on, that’s great. More power to you. I respect that-sporting events should be enjoyed by all. I have friends who just generally don’t care to watch sports, especially if it’s college football. They’d rather go to a farmers market on a Saturday in the fall or run errands or fish. And that’s fine. Do you. Just don’t come to the place where I’m watching a game and be the buzzkill pretending like he’s got somewhere more important to be. .
Image via YouTube
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jduda@grandex.co
You put out such a Patrick Kane vibe in your photo.
I can’t decide if this is a good or bad thing.
Still had sex?
*Allegedly
Thanks for summing up how feel every Saturday. SInce the cocks have a bye week, I’m going to different team’s game–I’ll probably be just as obnoxious and drunk, even though I have nothing vested in either team. And I agree, it’s totally irrational.
How I*
P.S. I’ve said this for a while, PGP needs to hop on the “edit” button train.
How does a cocks fan view Spurrier leaving in the middle of a season? Do you think he quit on the team or do you believe his message wasn’t getting across and someone else needed to finish the job?
Not the Cocks fan you addressed, but I am one nonetheless.
I mean I think he quit on the team, which is shitty, but it was obvious the program needed to go in a different direction and our AD was in a position where he couldn’t fire Spurrier. So Spurrier effectively fired himself (he said as much in an interview with the SC beat writer in Columbia). Sucks for this year’s team, but the program will be better off in the long run with more time to get its ducks in a row and nail a hire that will hopefully set the team up for another 10-15 years (Fuente, Smart, etc.)
It was hard for me to have a mental image of Spurrier sitting in a high school recruit’s living room trying to convince someone to come play for him. He just seemed out of touch. I did make it a point though to always watch his games when he coached around half time just so I can see the side line reporter take his interview when going in at the half. He gave the best answers every single time.
Disagree with the other cocks fan. I think he was legitimately trying to what was best for the program. Leaving mid season gives us the leg up on competition for top head coaches. I appreciate what he did–recognized he didn’t have it anymore, and called a career; too many old guys stay too long, just look at VaTech and Penn State before that.
Maybe I need to get outside more and do more hiking and fishing on the weekends. I need a better sports/life balance. I shouldn’t work all week just to sit there in my free time and invest so much emotion into something I have zero control over. I’m never gonna not watch my teams and I’m never gonna not care, but for health purposes, I should probably pick up another hobby. Those devestating elimination games really fucking suck when you’ve invested so much of your life into the season. It also really sucks when you’re forced to change your PGP username to avoid a public shaming.
Fly fishing is relaxing. However, you have illustrated why I enjoy sports: to watch people irrationally lose their shit. It’s almost impossible not to enjoy watching that friend of yours (that went to a different school/grew up with a different NFL team) cry into their beer after talking shit for the whole week. It’s glorious.
Sometimes I dejectedly gaze into my beer, but I watch those games at home. Go Cards.
It’s ok, fellow Cubs fan/postgrad. It’s going to be worth it. United we stand and united we’ll fall..down to our knees when the Cubs win it all.
For 2016, Cubs have an $81 million payroll. Dodgers and Yankees triple that payroll and the Cubs, like NY, LA, and Boston, are at the top of the market and will spend accordingly. We’re a year ahead of schedule and because of that Theo and company have an expanded budget for 2016. Look for Heyward and Price as FA signees and a trade for Chris Archer. You heard it here first.
Work preventing you from being overly into sports. PGP
Sorry that isn’t a thing here
A River Runs through it, where you got the Brad Pitt photo, was terrible. Would not recommend.