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The bright lights were all that I remembered seeing. I didn’t notice the shadows of the circle of teammates, coaches, and trainers around me. “Do you know what field you are on?” The trainer would go on to ask me. To which I replied with some answer that was clearly not the right one. My parents in the stands knew what happened. It was all too familiar at that point. I had just suffered my fourth concussion in the span of two short years.
Concussions are a hot topic when it comes to sports these days. Do we want our kids to play such dangerous sports that can cause head trauma? Do I regret playing football? Absolutely not. Do I regret the occasional migraines that come with the effects of my concussions? Absolutely. Do I want my future son to play football? Absolutely not. Hear me out, though. I have a very sound reason.
Let me start off by saying that I don’t care if he plays football. I’m not worried about concussions or the like. I just want him playing baseball. I want my son to follow the path I was supposed to follow. His old man had a gun on his arm, but had the accuracy of Michael J. Fox with a gun. By the time I was a senior in high school, I was hitting 90 on the gun and batters in the head. While my accuracy issues couldn’t be fixed, the velocity was there throughout college when I played club ball. So I know my son is going to be granted with some nice baseball genes. His mother was a dancer too, so he’s bound to have some strong legs.
So why do I want him playing baseball and not football? The money, of course. I’m not going to beat around the bush. I want the kid to have a shot at guaranteed millions. He gets cut? No problem, he’s still getting paaaaaiiiid and dad is still going to be getting season tickets wherever he lands after. He doesn’t even have to be a starter in the bigs to make it big either. Hell, if I were him, I’d be happy being the situational bullpen guy who pitches once or twice a week for an inning of work, makes millions, and gets to chase the hottest tail in America.
Let’s take a look at some of the lifetime earnings of some middle relievers (numbers via Baseball Reference):
LaTroy Hawkins: $47,462,500
Jeremy Affeldt: $42,063,00
Arthur Rhodes: $38,919,000
Scott Downs: $30,930,000
Brandon League: $30,193,800
Not all of them were even that great. Maybe he even wants to be a closer and make even more money. If he has his dad’s mentality on the mound, he’ll be a perfect candidate to be the crazy sumbitch that enjoys the pressure of closing a game out. Just hope he hammers out those accuracy issues I had.
Is this a little selfish of me? Sure is, but I am the one that has to deal with him (and pay for him) for 18 years so it kind of evens out in the end. I just want him to follow the money train that is professional baseball. Unless he’s rocking the arm of a golden QB — then I might be swayed. .
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If I have a son, I am without a doubt training him from day one to be a professional long snapper. It’s such a specialized position; you’re guaranteed a spot on a D1 roster and you get to still make a few millions in the pros. #LongSnapperLivesMatter
Train him as a kicker/punter too. Long snapper is great but you do have to have some build. If your son ends up being 5’8″ and a buck-sixty he won’t be playing long snapper.
Until you miss that one important field goal and your entire career comes crashing down.
True story, buddy of mine is a kicker, your livelihood is always at risk, a rough start to a season and he was cut. Thankfully he is a smart kid who actually got a degree if the NFL doesn’t last long
I think we have the same buddy
Long snapper or Punter. Nobody hits you nor expects you to hit anyone else.
Marrying a “dancer.” PGP.
Grinding is a style of dance, right?
I still say aim for pro golfer. No one gives a shit if you are 35 and hot shit on the mound when you were in college. But if you can break 80? Tournament ringer go-to, here you come.
Was gonna say the same. Golf has greater longevity.
Played in college and consistently shoot 75 or lower. Let’s just say whenever our customers or vendors have a tournament, this guy gets an extra vacation day. Totally worth it.
True but it’s expensive to get started.
Don’t put your kid in hockey then. Also hope he doesn’t become good at football, because then you’re forking out tens of thousands for football camps to get him noticed by colleges.
It’s cheap as hell to get started. Here are some hand-me-down or garage sale sticks and a bucket of range balls. Maybe a couple $50/half hour lessons. Hit the muni course for $20/round. It only gets expensive when the kid is good and you need to start thinking about a private coach, etc.
My dad told me the same thing, this was before we found out I sucked pretty bad…
If your future son is right handed, tie his right arm behind his back and force him to become a lefty. Lefties only need 90-92 mph velocity (and some wicked off speed stuff) while righties need to project around mid 90s to have a legit chance (unless he’s the next Wakefield)
Another note – all 5’10 180 lbs of Billy Wagner broke his right arm twice when he was a kid, learned to throw left handed and earned about 92 mil throwing 100 mph
Exaggerating your glory days sports abilities #pgp
Golf for longevity is a safe bet, wish I had spent more time on the links. But, I think spending your formative years on the mound does as much for your mental fortitude as anything in the world. That patch of dirt made me the man I am today.
Having to face down the next batter after just getting rocked is one of the toughest things to do in life. It’s just you out there man, nobody else to blame.
Hmmm… this article feels awfully familiar… YEP here it is: http://deadspin.com/you-should-be-a-middle-reliever-1759227500
I agree with you 100%, but come on, man.
LaTroy Hawkins was drafted the same year I was born. Yes he’s made alot of money but its stretched out quite a bit.
lefty college pitcher and 5 handicap golfer. been getting breaks for mediocre play my whole life.
Between my college baseball career, and the wife’s college lacrosse career, if I make it the first 18 years, I’ll be set