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Welcome to the PGP Mailbag, wherein I will answer questions from you, our readers. Send your questions to dillon@grandex.co or call the Mailbag hotline at (833) 345-5662 to leave a voicemail and be featured on The Mailbag podcast. All topics welcome.
A quick programming note before we begin: I will soon be launching The Mailbag, a podcast based on this series. The questions that make the podcast will be a combination of emails (if you’d like to remain anonymous) and voicemails. The hotline number is above. Please give me plenty to choose from so that we start off strong with interesting topics of discussion.
I will have a revolving co-host, people from inside and outside the Grandex network. More to come as the launch nears. I hope you guys enjoy it.
Hey Dillon,
Appreciate what you’re doing, I have a problem and could use your help.
My sister is getting married next year, and as she and her fiancé don’t drink (no medical or religious reason FYI), she says she wants to have a dry wedding. I have tried to tell her that people won’t stick around after dinner without the alcohol, and her guests will be very unhappy. How should I go about convincing her to do at least beer and wine, and if I’m unable to convince them, how do I go about not being miserable at a dry wedding?
If the decision to have a dry wedding isn’t about religion, I don’t get it.
It’s cool that they aren’t drinkers — I’m sure they have their reasons and I respect that — but they need to understand that everyone else does drink. And when they step out into social gatherings, that’s when they drink. They expect alcohol to be served. They want alcohol to be served. If alcohol isn’t served, they will not have as much fun as they would if alcohol was served. People will attend your dry wedding because they feel obligated, not because they want to.
Weddings are ground zero for drinking with the people you most care about. It’s a gathering of your close friends and family, and they’re there to celebrate you. It’s THE drinking occasion. Not serving alcohol, unless you’re leaning on religion, is simply a very selfish decision.
Drag a few kegs and cases of cheap wine in there. It’s the least you could do.
Dorn,
THIRD time, long time. So I’ve been seeing this girl for a few weeks and “third date” time is coming up. The thing is, I haven’t had sex in 3 years, and I only have with one girl. Between dating one girl forever growing up (it was her), starting off college at a small Christian cockblock school, and dating people that are into waiting, I’ve just had a lot of bad luck. Also, I’m not a big hookup guy, only recently turned 21, and honestly, i think sex itself can be some intimate shit to share with someone special, I like to get to know people.
Now, I’m already nervous enough about being really rusty, but I also don’t know if I’ll be judged by her negatively for my past (or lack thereof). I should say this girl is fairly experienced, but that doesn’t bother me all that much except that she might think I am too. I guess my question is, do I come clean with her and tell her the truth, make up a slightly larger number, or what?
Sorry that ran so long, but thanks in advance, man.
Three years. Damn, son.
The move here is to bring it up with her when you think sex is imminent. You don’t have to get into detail about why it’s been three years if you’re not comfortable doing that, but letting her know it’s been a long while since you’ve had sex will ease your mind and probably set the performance bar low for her. I’m talking basement level. And that can only work in your favor. Maybe even bring it up in a lighthearted, self-deprecating way. She shouldn’t be judgey.
Hey, good luck. You might be having sex soon, man. Sex is fun.
Hi Dillon,
So I heard you talk Thursday on the pod about how at events you seem to be the only single guy there and I’ve been kind of feeling the same way lately. It seems like either I’ll ask my friends to hang out and they decline because they just want to hang with their significant others or when I go out with a group its literally all couples and I’m end up being the third-wheel, fifth-wheel, seventh-wheel, etc.
And same as you were saying, I’m very happy with my life and love being single but sometimes it will just get to me I’ll feel a little weird…I like my independence but times like these get frustrating and I kind of feel like the odd girl out. What’s your advice for dealing with this besides having a dope ass little Homie of my own to hang with.
I’m at the age where all my friends are coupled up, minus maybe one or two. And by coupled up, I mean either married or on the brink of engagement.
I am very, very happy with life right now. I’m such a relationship guy, though, so the independence is different and new for me. I’ve gotten used to being single now and it’s great for the most part. In certain situations, however, it’s not that great. The scenario I found myself in Saturday night was actually one example. I was at a housewarming party for our boy Bill Bolen and I, the only single one, was surrounded by I think seven happy couples.
I wasn’t bitter or anything, and I was happy to be there. It was simply a reminder that I’m behind in this phase of my life. You feel me? Like damn dude you don’t want to be showing up solo to parties like this forever. I had to remind myself I’ve only been single for three months and I’m not actively looking to date right now.
I just realized my response has been all about me and I haven’t answered your question yet. Truthfully, I’m still figuring all this out myself. I’ve been single for a total of about twelve months over the last 16 years of my life, so I’m not that experienced at it. I know I’ll find the one eventually, so I don’t spend time worrying about it.
Dillon & Co,
So my boyfriend and I had a (successful) conversation on how we need to work on our relationship and we need to get the spark back. Later he asked me if I watched porn and after hesitating I told him yes (since I do) and then he suggested we watch it together. He said it would be fun. I am so confused about how this would be done. Do we play it on his giant screen TV? Do I want him to know the type of porn I watch? (It’s lesbian) Do I want to know what he watches? Do we mimick them? If it’s the type I watch I don’t think that’s possible. Please help. I feel like people have Im just not one of them. Have you or “a friend” done this that can give me an idea of what I’m getting into? Please help.
I’ve never done this, nor have any of my friends done it that I’m aware of. I applaud you two for trying new shit to keep things exciting.
If my girlfriend proposed this, I think I’d like to mutually agree upon a certain type of video, then narrow it down to one, pour up some wine, then turn it on and see what the hell happens. I’m guessing you don’t even make it five minutes in before you lose interest in what’s on the screen and it’s all about what’s going on right in front of you.
Dill the thrill,
Coming in hot with a two-parter here.
I’m reading the Mailbag™️ in my goto work stall, having the time of my life on a Tuesday morning. I finish up a glorious 30 min scroll sesh, and what do I find when I go to wipe? The tp roll is upside down.
My question is, am I in the wrong for thinking there’s a right and a wrong way for the roll to be on there? And if so, what’s the right way? My thinking has always been that I want to pull from the top of the roll, but wanted to hear what the (award-winning podcaster?) chev-daddy had to say.
Part 2 is simple: a friend of mine recently let slip that he wipes while standing up. Ie. after he drops the kids off at the pool, he stands up, leans over and reaches all the way back to wipe. He got roasted for it (rightly in my mind), but is this more common than I think? Or should I be worried that he’s going to kill me in my sleep as this is an absolute serial killer maneuver?
Haven’t been to Europe so I can’t say cheers,
Touching Base Nation
Pull from the top. People who pull from the bottom are bonafide psychopaths and I won’t hear an argument to the contrary. Steer clear of these types.
Wipe sitting down. People who wipe standing up are bonafide psychopaths and I won’t hear an argument to the contrary. Steer clear of these types. My buddy wipes in a three-point stance and I love him for it. Like a defensive end ready to fire off the line of scrimmage. Only he’s not a defensive end. He’s just a dude who wipes his ass with a hand on the floor..
Don’t forget: Call the Mailbag hotline at (833) 345-5662 to leave a voicemail and be featured on The Mailbag podcast.
The more questions I receive, the better this series is going to be, so send me your Mailbag questions to dillon@grandex.co and please put “Mailbag” in the subject line.
Respond
Dillon Cheverere
Dillon Cheverere is the Vice President of Media for Grandex, Inc. Email: dillon@grandex.co
@dcheverere
@dcheverere
RogerJDorn
“I mean either married or on the brink of engagement.”
Oh, okay, so that’s what we’re doing now.
It’s bound to happen whether or not you want it to.
“I own you” – Girlfriend Sally
waiting for that write-up on Sally’s email to you
I’ve got a theory you’re are already engaged and y’all are just building the suspense before you go public
Dude, just pop the fucking question. What are you even waiting for?
Wiping your ass in a three-point stance is a power move I never knew existed
Sex guy, just go down on her until your jaw cramps up and then she won’t give a damn about much else. Congrats on the future sex.
Sup?
Married, but I appreciate the “sup”
You are a good man.
Best,
JG
Had a 2 year dry spell some time ago and did exactly this the first time I had sex again. Can confirm it works great.
I know it’s selfish to say, but dry weddings are selfish.
So it’s just “friendly hand holding” with friend of the pod, Kayla then? Got it. Also, beard looks absolutely phenomenal on the stamp. Better than Will’s? It hard to say.
Kayla and I are friends. And WOW what a compliment. Thank you, king.
Fornicating
Rigorously
If
Easy
Nevertheless
Driving
Scooters
Bring Kayla back on the pod. She was funny the few times she was able to pop on.
The patent for the toilet paper roll shows it being pulled from the top. End of discussion.
I wipe standing up so Dillon’s thoughts are correct
Still not as psycho a move as the second burrito.
For the dude who hasn’t had sex in 3 years, I don’t think there’s a need to mention exactly how long, just tell her it’s been a long while. That being said, just make sure she’s having fun and she probably won’t give a shit how long it’s been for you. If you finish quickly keep the fun going for her until you’re ready for round 2.
Always go down first, she will appreciate it
I know you have insurance and all, but he said she’s been around the block. Might not be the move here.
Nah, it’s always the move
Dudes who don’t go down are the true degenerates of our society.
I had to quit drinking a handful of years ago, but I still wanted all my friends and loved ones to get bombed at my wedding. And they did.
Excellent take on dry weddings. My cousin is having one next month. The only reason is because the bride’s family refuses to pay for alcohol.
I’m glad I’m not the only one irked by this.
Your cousin should save up until they can afford at least a cash bar
That is exactly what we said!
Cash bars are awful. Not as awful as dry weddings, but awful. The very least that needs to be offered for free is beer and wine.
Going to a dry wedding with a reception that ends at 6 PM this weekend.
That’s not as bad imo, at least if they have good daytime activities