Let’s Talk About Why She Didn’t Go Home With You

Let's Talk About Why She Didn't Go Home With You

“You wanna get out of here?”

It’s a sentence that any woman is likely to hear on a booze-fueled Friday night. I flashed a smile, politely declined, and slipped off the dance floor to go find my friends. Turns out, this otherwise common exchange was going to lead to a night-long debate.

We’re rolling deep tonight, with no less than eleven people in the squad, roaming the bars like a herd of freshman on orientation weekend. Naturally, there is going to be some disagreement when you get a group this large together, so the night spiraled into a heated discussion of sex, orgasms, and the opposite gender.

It made me realize something laughable; most guys seem to think women have a virtually non-existent sex drive when compared to their own. And they’re smug about this like it’s a defining factor of masculinity to be ready to go anywhere at anytime with any passably decent vagina.

“If you liked sex as much as that guy did, you would be having sex with him right now,” one of my friends had insisted. Solid logic, right?


Because here’s the thing. We don’t like sex and we don’t like masturbating; we like orgasms. You know who rarely gets one of those with a one night stand? Women. So I had two options when the dance floor Romeo tried to take me home. I could go with him, spend ten minutes (optimistic) with some sweaty stranger flopping on top of me, risk an STI/pregnancy, and more than likely not even get off. Or I could go home, do the damn job myself, and actually be guaranteed a risk-free orgasm.

Seriously. It is straight up depressing how much harder it is for women to finish. In fact, the average woman will only orgasm in somewhere near 30% of her sexual encounters. With those kinds of odds, it’s just not worth the effort, risk, and walk of shame.

This debate over sex drives between genders had me thinking of my past relationships. Namely, the first boyfriend to consistently get me off. This dude’s dick had me hypnotized. I can’t even count how many times I would be bored and daydream in class, only to realize I was thinking about what I wanted him to do to me later. Suddenly, I’m stuck in Accounting 205, wetter than a submarine with screen doors.

We fucked like bunnies for a glorious year before our lives went in separate directions. Seriously, I would jump this guys bones at every opportunity, and he always commented on how great it was that I had such a high sex drive. The boyfriend before him never said anything like this. He also couldn’t get me off if I hopped up on a sybian and handed him the remote, so any time he tried to put the moves on, I just wasn’t in the mood.

This isn’t meant to rip into the sexual prowess of every male out there. It’s not your fault that it’s so much harder for us ladies to hit that golden finish line, and many of you are great at getting us there. But don’t act like it’s some defect of ours that we’re less inclined to have sex when that sex so often ends without the fireworks show we all paid to see. If you want more girls to start going home with you, do your part. Make sure she has a good time, for the good of casual encounters everywhere.

Image via Shutterstock

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