Let’s Talk About This Alabama Dating Site

Confession: I’ve never used a dating app. I have no idea how Tinder, Grindr, Farmers Only, J-Date, Match, Black People Meet or any of the other services work other than context clues. Not knocking it, whatever lights your fire, I’m not here to judge. I know a lot of people that have used these services for finding a life partner, a lay or something in between.

That being said, there’s some things in this world I will never understand. Ever get the feeling like you’ve seen everything, only to have something completely blow you out of the water, turn your world upside down and make you reevaluate everything? That’s how I felt when I saw this abomination — This is a website dedicated to bringing together the worst fan base in college football. I’m a huge college football fan, but the level of insanity many of these Walmart fans and alumni alike go to is insane.

Maybe there are some people that actually went to the University of Alabama at Tuscaloosa on there. To be honest, I didn’t bother signing up because, well, I didn’t go there. It feels wrong. Plus, Auburn will always have a special place in my heart. About ten of my fraternity brothers and I travelled there during my stint in undergrad. The people were extremely friendly (to the point of being creepy) but the place is charming and they were a lot better than the fans I encountered when my alma mater played theirs a few years ago.

I get it. Alabama fans are rabid, fervent believers in the Crimson Tide. Their God is Bear Bryant, their Jesus is Lord Saban. Houndstooth is worn all over. I imagine if you wear anything remotely resembling anything but crimson and/or cream, you will be summarily hung in Tuscaloosa. For them, football is a way of life, a lifestyle and I am kind of envious of their success. Sometimes I wonder if they ever tire of winning all the time, to have the ceiling set so high that anything less than a national championship is complete and utter failure. It doesn’t help that they have five star players stacked like cordwood that could start for 90% of every other team. In my experience, Alabama fans are the Eagles fans of the college football world.

They take something and go completely overboard. Some of their fans really hate the snitches and garbage truck worker convention that is Tennessee. Some of them poison their rival’s historic trees. To be completely honest, whoever designed a website solely dedicated to bringing together the worst fans in college football is outright dangerous.

I bet most of the people on the site aren’t even graduates of the school. A lot of these big named t-shirt schools (looking at you Ohio State, Michigan, Texas, OU, etc.) give their schools a bad name. Their inability to spell on message boards and ESPN articles instantly give them away. I almost feel bad for the actual alumni, having to keep their idiot fans in line but then they go and do something like this. Police your own people.

I’m sure there are some wonderful people on the site and I’m certain that some people may find true love (or their cousin). All I’m saying is it’s a slippery slope to engage in this type of behavior. There are all sorts of niche dating, from MLB fans, to those with STDs (don’t Google, just trust me), to Craigslist to Bernie Sanders fans. When will the madness end? Have the world no shame?

Roll Tide!

Image via TFM

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I specialize in damage control, being the drunkest at any and all functions and social assassination. Always appreciate a strong gif game. Follow me on Twitter. Sometimes I put up cool stuff about golfing at the local dirt tracks.

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