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I have no illusions about myself: I’m never going to be a male model, have an Adonis body, or generally be a guy that women think about when they’re lonely at night. I don’t have a “fall aesthetic” or any type of aesthetic. I am unashamedly a card-carrying member of the “button-down and jeans” crew. My pregame ritual for going out ranks somewhere between blow-drying my hair to smelling a shirt to see if it’s good enough to wear. In terms of pure, superficial attractiveness, I’d say I’m right in the meat of that bell curve: not falling behind, but not showing off either.
However, during my “Summer of Josh,” I endeavored to get in better shape and maximize my attractiveness heading into cuffing season. To my great displeasure, I started running. My entire diet was overhauled to the extent that I hadn’t eaten a hamburger until just last weekend after a bout of day-drinking got the better of me. I also started following Youtube channels and blogs about men’s fashion and grooming. I did exercises to improve my posture, improve my charisma, and make myself look and feel better. But through all of this research, all of these attempts to improve my look, I’ve discovered something: being good looking is hard goddamn work.
Like seriously, to be in ridiculously good shape, you need to be incredibly active and disciplined regarding your diet. The websites and programs I looked to for inspiration talked a lot about macros and healthy fats, advising me to give up just about anything that wasn’t fresh produce, quinoa, kale, or lean meat. After a while, that limited a diet becomes a struggle, especially for someone like me who isn’t the greatest chef. I can only slow cook chicken and ground turkey so many ways, and it requires a pretty big investment of time in terms of prep and actual cooking. It’s really disappointing to drop so much effort and energy into something that is on par, if not worse than something that would cost you $12 at Chipotle.
The same sort of issue applies when it comes to hair and skin care. In my summer of attempting to look better, I grew to appreciate what you ladies go through every day to look so stunning. Moisturizing, blow-drying, conditioning, it was all too much for me. And that’s a toe dip into the waters of what girls do every single day. It also felt just so pointless and complicated; no matter how many ways I teased my hair, it all ended up basically the same. And to get a high-quality trim at a barber shop, I might have to plunk down more than $50! I had to ask myself: why do that for no guarantee my hair is going to look the way I want it when the place down the street has been keeping my hair looking average for $15 a pop?
And speaking of price, we get to fashion. Holy hell. No one told me how expensive it is to have nice clothes. I spent most of my early to mid 20s shopping out of J. Crew Factory and Uniqlo. The idea that I might have to spend upwards of $75 on a shirt was borderline heresy. I’m not trying to sound super cheap here, but what if I spend all that money on a shirt and it just doesn’t look good on me? Now I gotta go through all the hassle of sending it back for a refund 6-8 weeks later. And please don’t tell me to go to a mall and try on the clothes. First, I have no idea what I would do in a mall, second, that day sounds like the 6th circle of hell.
In addition, I’m just not that adventurous when it comes to fashion. Other guys are talking about outfits and aesthetics, but I have no idea what looks good or doesn’t. I don’t really care what I’m wearing in most circumstances as long as I look good and it’s comfortable. I’ve never gotten a tailored suit simply because I don’t think I’d look much better than a suit that fits off the rack. Jeans and button-downs work because they generally look good at all times, they’re safe picks. To go outside of that comfort zone, experimenting with other, more sophisticated looks, isn’t worth the effort and money because I have no clear idea of what I’m looking for that suits my body and style.
If this all comes off as me saying I don’t care how I look, please know that is not true. I do care how I look, and I want to look good. It just seems that the amount of effort, time, money, and energy that goes into looking attractive far outweighs the resulting metamorphosis. I’m also a bit colored because I don’t really know how to accomplish the goal. If I knew that putting in all the time and effort would definitely make me look better, and not just sort of the same, I’d be much more gung-ho. Instead, I envision a world where I put all that in and come out of the other side still not being that happy with my appearance.
So bless all you people out there who put in all that work, day in and day out, to look so amazing. Truly, you guys deserve all the compliments and looks you get, because I now know that I am just not cut out for it. And if you’re like me, upset that you’re not one of the beautiful people, I hope I’m not discouraging you. On the contrary, know that you’re not alone. There are a lot of us who just don’t have it in us to be thin and attractive..
Respond
@joshetyler
@joshetyler
Use promo code “sock” for 10% off your entire order at Man Outfitters.
Damn, if I’d have known I would have dropped more #sponsored in here and get a cut of those sweet promo $.
Dave there’s some things I’d buy on man outfitters but you’ve gotta be insane if you think I’m spending 149USD for a fucking Patagonia pullover, as fire as they do look
Yeah 10% doesn’t really sweeten the deal on a $149 pullover. Hell, Chicago has a 10% sales tax (heads up for your upcoming trip), so the sock promo code isn’t the greatest incentive IMO.
Do you have to pay 10% when you buy things online from an out of state company like Man Outfitters?
Yeah, because you have to pay the Illinois 10% sales tax when you order from out-of-state, butthead.
But you can order off Patagonia.com where they do have a store in Chicago and you will have to pay sales tax.
You’re missing the point. Let’s not call each other names, Will.
I’m not missing the point at all. You just tried to say the discount canceled out the sales tax which isn’t correct since there is no Illinois sales tax on Man Outfitters orders.
Will, don’t let facts get in the way of a good story.
Will, you should try putting on your customer service hat once in a awhile and stop being so confrontational to your commenters and customers (I have bought from you guys before) when they offer their insight and review.
My point was I blow my nose at 10% because I pay that in a sales tax everyday, it doesn’t phase me at all. A 10% savings is nothing. You’re saving me what, a $1 for every $10 I spend? Wow, huge. The stuff is already overpriced and marked up just for the brand name to begin with. 10% isn’t that great of a deal, and there have been times where I’ve bought products straight from the source when they ran better deals (e.g. I got the same Rodd and Gunn shirt you guys were selling directly from Rodd and Gunn because they offered me 40% off, while you guys refused to have anything better than your sock promo code), and we know you guys have run better deals in the past where you’ve thrown in yeti tumblers and offered higher savings.
So instead of calling names (terrible customer service btw), maybe pass this message along that if you want future business from me and others on this site, step up your game and start offering some real deals.
I just got paid 9k D0llar working off my laptop this month. And if you think that’s cool, my divorced friend has twin toddlers and made over $9k her first month. It feels so good making so much money when other people have to work for so much less. This is what I do…. www.Jobzon3.com
Not having a burger for an entire summer sounds like hell.
Henley, dark jeans, nice shoes, aviators. KISS system works every time.
Chuck Taylor’s over nice shoes any day, any situation. The rest is spot on.
It’s too much work to stay alive in general. On the bright side, if I die, I won’t have to go to work anymore. Always think positively in the midst of darkness, guys
The only thing that keeps me going is that if I died I think my dog would be super sad
Pretty soon we’re going to see TV ads where some guy in a turtle neck with glamour soap opera-ish lighting is gonna slowly walk toward the camera in a nice home while being like “Tired of getting nowhere and working so hard for it? Do the overlords have you feeling worried about the future? What if I told you that as a Millennial, you could have the chance to cash out and retire early so you can enjoy the fruits of life? All you have to do is call this number on your screen and we’ll take care of the rest”….”This message has been brought to you by Smith and Wesson”
Maintain a festive fall atmosphere to complement your suicidal tendencies with the brand new limited time only Pumpkin Spice Glock!
Women love confidence above all else. So I, a soft 5 on my best day, strut around with the mindset that I’m a hard 8 or so and just “a few gym days short” of being a 9. Does it work? Fuck no, but it means I have to spend little time worrying about my looks and even less time feeling bad about myself.
Name checks out.
tbh other than the diet and exercise, which I feel should be a social norm, all of that stuff is unnecessary. Be confident, its hotter than anything you could do to your hair. Vibe is what gets the girls. For style, just pay attention to how dudes dress that get girls. I promise they arent spending more than 30$ on their entire aesthetic. Except Will.
You can be confident all you want but a bowl cut ain’t gonna bring the ladies in.
I mean this with no implied snobbery, but how in the fuck does one dress for under $30 that isn’t gym shorts and an old t-shirt?
You bite the bullet and shop at Old Navy, is how.
Honestly, that’s false economy. That shit falls apart so fast. Spend a little more and get stuff that lasts and it’s cheaper in the long run. Work/nice clothes from Brooks Brothers (on sale) and casual stuff from LL Bean (their $29 polo shirts last literally forever unless you’re a slob like me and stain them with BBQ sauce). Uhh, and ManOutfitters too of course.
Agreed. You can’t even get jeans for less than thirty
Wranglers at Academy are less than 30
Clearance section
tbh i totally pay attention to how a guy dresses. not saying anyone has to dress super fancy or expensive or anything, but don’t look like a slob. idk where $30 is going to get anyone (besides maybe a baby) a full outfit.
Salvation Army
$30? lolololololololol
You can’t even get a New Era baseball hat for $30 and we all know that girls love dudes who wear backwards New Era hats and have the same 3 tattoo options, with a room temperature IQ because the population and society def isn’t fucked up from poor relationship prospects and reproduction choices at all lol
You forgot Duda.
Never got passed the fact that you blow dry your hair…
Never got past the fact that you misused “passed”
Attempted to. I was told it would make the hair easier to mold and style. I was lied to.
Blow drying is beyond me and seems like a waste of time. I’ve had good luck recently with towel drying my hair and putting in a hair band (yes, the girl ones) to keep my hair back while I get ready and then pop some product in 15 min later or so.
One day I’m gonna leave the military and when I do, I’m gonna let it all go.. I can’t wait.
First thing I’m doing is growing a god damn beard
I still do between TP’s, TDY’s and drills. Never get more than 5-6 days of growth though.
Pro Tip: find an old school barber shop
Nothing worse than the realization that some folks don’t even have to TRY to be thin and attractive