It’s Official, Millennials Are The “Butt Generation”

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Oh happy day, my time has finally come. Butts are (un)officially in. I know what you’re saying, this isn’t news for the majority of people out there. But I’d like it to be heard that we need to make this a little more official. Fuck “millennials”, it’s time we adopted our true name: “Generation Butt”. I couldn’t have said it better myself, really.

Now, if you couldn’t already tell, I’m a fan of butts. I prefer men who wear boxer briefs and often find that a woman’s whole backside is sexier than her front. Yes I’m partial. I am a butt. When you have an average front but a not so average back, this tends to happen. I have also been dismayed by the previous trend of fake boobs that usurped every magazine cover and porn video to date. Those boobs are like Home Depot to the corner hardware store, the Walmart to the general store, the Stop and Shop to the local market. Okay you get it. They’re running us nice folks straight out of business. They defy gravity and the laws of nature and have made me feel like a hyper-aged 17, 20, or 24-year old throughout my life. IT’S NOT FAIR. But finally, there is justice in the world. Butts are IN and, dare I say it, maybe even more so than boobies.

Kayleigh Hughes did some really extensive research via Google Trends on keywords related to the bum. What her and her team of researchers concluded was that they are all on the rise. “Ass” is the most obvious increase and for once in my life, I have to say, thanks Kim K. (“You know what they say, although slow and dangerous behind the wheel, Kim K. may still serve a purpose!”) Many thanks also to the Queen herself, Beyonce, for shaking that darriere and good old Jenny Selter. Keep on keepin’ on, ladies.

[via XO Jane]

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Mary Swanson

Both a bitter and optimistic 24-year-old entry-level underachiever with 2-4 friends and 0 talents. Washed up is an understatement. I prefer almost all my food luke-warm, what does that say about me?

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