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I have something to confess to you all: I’m in a committed relationship. I’ve been hesitant to tell you about it, as that it’s really more of a love/hate thing. There are days that he’s my favorite person in the world, making me feel really good about myself, and then there are days that I am just not in the mood for his pushy crap. But regardless of my day-to-day feelings about him, I remain committed. So much so that, due to a recent job change on his part, we can no longer have our usual afternoon rendezvous, so I’m now getting up at 5:30 a.m. to see him three times a week. So who is this mystery man who inspires such devotion that I’m willing to get up before the sun?
My trainer, of course.
Oh, please, like you thought I had finally found a guy. If my perpetually-single-self was actually dating someone, it would be such breaking news that CNN would interrupt their 24-hour cycle of Trump fuck-ups to report it. Instead, let’s talk about the man that I pay hundreds of dollars a month to watch me lift weights.
I must admit, a few years ago, I was pretty resistant to the idea of a trainer. It wasn’t that I believed the “lifting weights will make me bulky” myth; it was more than there are a million free resources out there, so why did I need to pay a guy when I could download Hot5 for quick workouts on the road or turn on BeachBody OnDemand when I was at home? It wasn’t until I plateaued with around 60 pounds to lose that I thought that maybe I needed some help in the strength training area. So, even though I hate the gym with a fiery passion, I headed over to the local L.A. Fitness, plunked down a credit card, and my going-on-two-year relationship with Matt began.
Over that time, despite the fact that he makes me do things that I loathe (squats) while not always letting me do the things that I like (wall sits), I’ve grown to like the guy. We chat about life, sports and politics during my thrice-weekly workouts; I buy his kid Christmas presents; he laughs at my ridiculous dating stories. He’s sort of like a friend that I pay to hang out with that makes me do shoulder presses and kettle swings. But the best part about my trainer: he actually cares about both me and my weight loss, and that’s something money alone can’t buy.
The funny part is, I probably don’t really need him to direct my workouts anymore. I’ve got two years of daily sets documented in a cute polka-dot binder (Of course I dressed up their blah workout tracker. Pretty motivates me), so I could probably just follow those on my own, right? But here’s what I’ve learned about myself in these two years with my buddy Matt: I won’t do it on my own. I will do cardio every day – twice most days – but I simply will not lift weights on my own motivation long-term. Sure, I keep it up on vacations now, but only because I know when I get back Matt’s going to A.) make me show him a list of everything I did each day and B.) show me no mercy, so losing a week’s worth of progress isn’t an option. But long term…I’d simply slip. I’d find excuses to skip a day here and there, and before you know it, my impressive personal-best on the leg press machine would be a distant memory.
So the bottom line for me is that I pay a guy a bunch of money to keep me accountable. Is that a sign of weakness? Maybe. Do I care? Not really. Because until he quits training or I look like Gisele, we’re in it to win it – together..
Starting weight to Lose: 30 pounds
Week 1 Results: – 1.1 pounds
Week 2 Results: – 2.1 pounds
Week 3 Results: +0.4 pounds
Week 4 Results: – 0.2 pounds
Week 5 Results: – 0.2 pounds
Week 6 Results: – 0.1 pounds
Week 7 Results: -0.9 pounds
Week 8 Results: 0.0 pounds
Week 9 Results: -0.5 pounds
Week 10 Results: -0.6 pounds
Week 11 Results: 0.0 pounds
Remaining weight to lose: 24.7 pounds
If you want to follow along with me, friend me on MyFitnessPal or FitBit!
Also, I’ll be chatting weekly about my progress with JR Hickey on our podcast, “Don’t Take It From Us.” New eps will be released every Wednesday, so check it out on Soundcloud below or Subscribe on iTunes!
Image via Shutterstock
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Jenna Crowley
Jenna used to be known as 2NOTBrokeGirls, but then one of the girls actually went broke, so she's struck out on her own. Jenna spends her free time saving the world, one sorority girl at a time (usually while wearing yoga pants), questioning why she decided to get a doctorate, documenting her love of all things cheese related, and hosting the new PGP podcast Don't Take It From Us. You can ask her anything you want about football, using your boobs to get what you want, and pizza at @JennaLCrowley on Twitter or via email at JennaLCrowley@gmail.com.
@JennaLCrowley
@donttakeitfromus
On a similar note, I’ve been waking up dehydrated a lot recently so I bought a huge 80oz water container at Walmart and have been drinking it at the office. I’m convinced that it’s not the water necessarily that helps people stay healthy but the fact that I now get up around 1,328 times throughout the day to take a leak.
Throw a little salt in there, you won’t pee as much
When you said 80oz container from Walmart, did you mean to say 64oz Yetti bottle from ManOutfitters?
Stock photo gal is going to need Tommy John with that form.
I always see attractive women with personal trainers at the gym I go to and wonder, do they hook up?
That’s a hard no
I’m thinking about getting one. I need to get my ass in a gym but I will find a million reasons not to on my own. This is helping me think that it might be time.
Just find a good one and 86 any of them that look at their phones longer than a few seconds at a time or are setting up a timer for your workout.
Have him throw some weighted carries into your program. Talk about a fuckin game changer.
Are those the same as farmer’s carries? I’ve never done them in a gym, but growing up as a skinny farm kid, the name is extremely accurate.
Yes. Can also be done with sandbags, Barbells, dumbells, hex bars or anything else you can find that’s uncomfortably heavy
They can be the same. I’ve done them with very heavy dumbbells (for me). Not at my gym but I’ve also seen people do it with yokes a la the fridge carry in the Baywatch preview.
Peep this gym out of Austin. I think Tim Kennedy does or did workout here for a time. I don’t pump here, but I kept seeing this hardcore older guy at Gold’s rocking their shirts. They’ve got a video library of a bunch of non-traditional lifts and moves that I like to watch when I need to mix it up.
https://atomic-athlete.com/exercises/
Solid find, David
Definitely a rogan-approved link
Straight up fire recommendation. I rarely see anyone other than myself doing farmer carries at the gym. Great back and shoulder exercise and definitely should make it into anyone’s regular set rotation.
Anything that helps motivate you is awesome, paying for motivation might be worth it
Is it bad I fell for Jenna’s trick that she had bf? I mean, Boston Max kept us in the dark for months about his move to NYC. I thought withholding crucial details and cherry-picking when to divulge them in order to keep up the content is the name of the game here.
Join a crossfit for less money monthly and get in great workouts and lifelong friends out of it!