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Back in the beginning of November, I wrote a piece asking “why are the last few pounds always the hardest?” and questioned how I could get over the mental hurdle and drop the last few pounds that have been looming at the end of my seemingly endless weight loss journey. What I said then – that I didn’t have a fucking clue – still holds true now. If I’m honest, not much has changed between November 2nd, 2016 and now; those last thirty pounds on still clinging to my ass as stubbornly as Kris Jenner clings to her children’s careers.
I’ve employed all of the usual excuses over the last sixteen weeks as to why the needle on the scale hasn’t moved in the right direction. It was Thanksgiving, the only holiday I actually like the food at, so obviously I overate. Then it was Christmas, and it would just be rude if I didn’t partake in all of the office goodies. Then it was January, and the winter blues could only be alleviated by pizza. And don’t even get me started on Valentine’s Day. Plus I’ve been traveling a ton and it’s so hard to eat well and work out when you are on the road.
But let me call bullshit on myself – these are all cop-outs. Something I’ve discovered about myself, not just over the last few months, but during this whole “weight loss journey” (a term I hate, but an accurate one nonetheless) is that I am either all in or all out. I can’t “kind of” diet. I’m either eating low-carb/high protein 24/7, or I’m shoving nachos in my face for a week straight. I operate in grey areas in a lot of my life, but when it comes to dieting, it’s all black and white; there is no in-between with me.
So, as I sit here in mid-February, I’m committing to getting fully back on the wagon, and not getting off at rest stops. To permanently forsaking (most) carbs, embracing high protein, and actually doing cardio every.single.day. The goal: to get those last thirty pounds off by my birthday, which happens to be six months from today. Which means a loss of about 1.5 pounds a week – not unreasonable, but definitely a challenge. I’m in it to win it, my friends.
What’s different this time, you may be asking? Well, this time, I’m taking you fuckers on this god-forsaken journey with me. Each week, I’ll check in with a weight update like the one below, because I trust that the lovely PGP commenters will hold me accountable in a way that only anonymous people on the internet could. But more than that, I’ll write about some of the actual issues that can detail the process. And I’ll do it in real talk, not that BS you get in the health magazines I keep subscribing to in hopes one of them will finally tell me how to lose weight on a bread-and-cheese diet.
Why? Why am I subjecting myself to likely internet ridicule? Well, maybe writing about some of those bumps in the road will help me stay on track, and maybe it will even help one or two of you at the same time, which would be a great side benefit on top of finally being able to wear a strapless dress.
So join me on the journey, whether you have your own weight to lose or just want to follow along. Will I/we get there by August (or ever)? Who knows. But it’s worth a try, right? Let’s do this, bitches..
Start weight: 30 pounds to go
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Jenna Crowley
Jenna used to be known as 2NOTBrokeGirls, but then one of the girls actually went broke, so she's struck out on her own. Jenna spends her free time saving the world, one sorority girl at a time (usually while wearing yoga pants), questioning why she decided to get a doctorate, documenting her love of all things cheese related, and hosting the new PGP podcast Don't Take It From Us. You can ask her anything you want about football, using your boobs to get what you want, and pizza at @JennaLCrowley on Twitter or via email at JennaLCrowley@gmail.com.
@JennaLCrowley
@donttakeitfromus
Good luck. As a man that has lost 85 lbs since college football, I understand your struggle, don’t give up.
Don’t want to thread jack but given the response to this article I started a thread on pgp reddit so we can keep a more real time log of this in addition to the weekly series.
https://www.reddit.com/r/PostGradProblem/comments/5x5kiw/pg_weight_loss_plans_goals_progress/
Thanks so much! That’s great!
Good luck! I still have about 10 pounds of holiday weight, so I’m on board with you.
We can do it! Maybe! Hopefully!
If you need an accountability buddy, let me know!
*Accountabilibuddy
you are all my new accountability buddies 🙂
Pro tip: unless you have a thyroid disease a lot of the “no sugar, only eat cabbage on Tuesdays” type diets are not going to help. Calories in vs calories out is the only long term sustainable way yo lose / keep it off. If you eat one piece of candy (which you will eventually) you’ll feel you broke your no sugar rule and it snowballs easier than “oops that’s 100 less calories of whatever” today. Good luck
This is so, so true. People over-complicate this stuff too often. Consume fewer calories a day than you burn. Also make an effort to eat more fruits and veggies and drink more water. For most people, it can be that simple.
Maybe for motivational purposes that is an ok strategy, but the truth is that your body does not process 100 calories of almonds the same way it does a 100 calorie cookie. Fiber content in vegetables, nuts, etc. keeps your blood sugar from spiking and thus prevents your body from storing fat.
That being said, veggies have much less calories than processed food and actual nutrients that will make you feel better rather than lethargic like junk food would.
You’ve got this one! Thanks for taking us along for the ride. You’ve motivated me to get cracking on these 30 college/post grad lbs.
Join me on this hellish journey. It’s better with friends.
Good Luck! I had to drop around 30 pounds after college and what did it for me, aside from cleaning up my eating, was finding a good workout program that mixed both cardio and strength training. Someone told me once that “muscle eats fat” and idk how true it is, but I really like the mental image I get of my muscle literally devouring my fat.
It takes a lot of courage to ask total internet strangers to hold you accountable to something so personal, you’ve a supporter in me though!!
THANKS!!!
Vodka & Waters w/ lemon+lime. less calories, much less hangover
Can confirm. Grey goose + zeypherhills bottled water + organic sugar and lemons
I’d avoid the “organic sugar”. Sugar is the main enemy, but i’m no expert.
Yo girl. Funny you published this today, I’m working on dropping the 30lbs I put on in 2016 in 6 months too. You got this.
WE got this!
You got this Jenna.
In all honesty, the best way to lose weight is to just run. Run 5/6 times a week. Yes, it sucks, I hate running myself. And even if you’re on the road, you can always find a treadmill in your hotel gym. Oh, and alcohol and pizza probably doesn’t help, but you know that. That’ll be the toughest part. Hopefully Liv can provide some more tips on today’s pod. If the pats can come back down 25, you can lose 30 pounds.
Stay aggressive, Killer
Cardio isn’t always the best strategy. Circuit exercises and a steady weight lifting routine will actually build lean muscle and shift fat into muscle.
gotta crawl before ya walk
High intensity interval training will burn more fat than anything else. Especially if you have a diet with a lot of fat from nuts, avocado etc. fat is better energy than carbs.
Example workout: row machine and 55lb kettle bell. Row 1000 meters as fast as possible and then do 20 kettle bell swings. Repeat 5x
Throw in some 1/4 mile repeats and you’ll be sucking wind in no time.
Totally agree. Couch to 5K is awesome but make sure you strength train your legs or you’re going to get sore knees like I did
Wholeheartedly agree! I played sports in college and even after college I would lift, but I’ve learned nothing helps me drop weight like running. Throw in some ab workouts a couple times post-run, and it helps you tone your mid-section.
100% Give me a squat rack over a treadmill. Running is arguably the best no bullshit full body workout you can get, but it’s still my own personal hell. Sup?
Graduated college 194, nine months later 154. 30 of those pounds came in the first five months, maybe even less.
I’m not a doctor, so idk how accurate this is, but for me, hands down, no doubt in my mind, cutting down the alcohol drastically accelerated that. Getting drunk five nights a week does you no favors for weight loss, in my opinion. Your tired, lethargic, never have energy to work out when your drinking all the time, and alcohol slows your metabolism. Cut out the happy hours, cut out the mid week margs, and you’ll be there in no time.
Just thinking about no #marglife made me start to tear up.
Same
This is why after college i just predominantly drink whiskey, two doubles at any social event is enough to keep the buzz going and don’t completely wreck ya plus it keeps ya from getting the beer burps when talking to girls.
I say this with all love – I don’t trust you. That’s because I wouldn’t trust myself. You should take a picture of both feet on the scale, and that’s what you should put at the bottom of the column every time. Much harder to fudge than saying “__ pounds to go”.
I love you, and I want you to succeed. Do this to push yourself harder and ensure there’s no way to fake your weight loss goals.
You know, I thought about that, but I’m literally terrified to put my actual weight on the internet. So you all are just going to have to trust me. I know it won’t work if I’m not honest.