I Skipped My Coworker’s Wedding To Throw Down At A Christmas Party

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I remember it well: my first Twitter follower. He made a great reference to Steven Glansberg, since I had no followers. The man, the myth, the legend, Dr. Shibby.

It’s been nearly a year since I started my remote job at Grandex. I’ve seen some people come and some people go. I’ve seen Sunday Scaries become the powerhouse, gotten some triple ply TP from none other than Caroline Gould for Christmas, I bullshit with my man Crash on a near daily basis and I’ve partied with the Shibbster.

During the fall, I scored an extra football ticket for the Texas game. I’d been pestering Shibby for a month or two to come down for a game, so the stars aligned and the godfather of gif visited me for a #weekendatBernies. From experience, you’d think the guy just graduated after six years of college: an apex predator of the party world.

With the holidays rolling in, I felt honored to receive an invite to the 2nd annual Shibby X-mas party and you can bet your bottom dollar I had that date circled on my calendar. With one obstacle, a coworker’s wedding on the same day, standing in my way, I used the, “going to visit my cousin” excuse due to the fact that we look enough alike to pass as relatives, albeit Shibby being taller. Yeah, I skipped a coworker’s wedding to rage. Sue me.

What I wasn’t ready for was the level of hospitality, kindness and general good times. I knew the guy had game, but I was in for a treat. Luckily, I took notes from my experience so all of you can now know how to throw a top notch Christmas party. The thoughts and memories are a bit hazy so bear with me. Inspired by one of my few followers, I feel compelled, nay obligated, to recount a great weekend with the Shibbster.

Be Thorough

You’d be surprised how many people can’t figure this out. I was a total newbie and rolled in wearing a local bar shirt. Thankfully, Shibby provided me an Xmas sweater (sorry I got booze on the reindeer), so I didn’t stick out like a sore thumb. I wasn’t aware of how dedicated people were to the art of the Christmas party. Every detail was refined, planned and executed. We even had a #hohohodown hashtag.

Deck the halls

The decorations were something you’d expect in a Macy’s, albeit on a postgrad budget. Every area of the place was adorned with some Yuletide spirit. I felt like I was in Whoville; even the chips were Christmas themed. Never half ass your decorations because it sets the mood for the night. Christmas music was pumped in throughout the house on all three levels from the house stereo – the classics, contemporary and even a rousing rendition of “Piano Man.” I have no idea how his neighbors don’t hate him.

They’ll eat their Who pudding and rare Who roast beast!

Honestly, there was more food than I thought was possible. Combining quality and quantity, baked ham, filet roast, buffalo chicken dip, more finger foods than I can remember: it was a grand feast. People love to make their best party food; Shibby and friends definitely delivered. Feeding 50 people is no small task and at least five times, I promised to stop eating, only to hit the filet roast and ham again. Yours truly rubbed the filet roast and made some killer pepperoni rolls.

Something original

Christmas parties are a time to let loose and live a little, and what sets a good party apart from a great party is the execution. Shibby’s bottle of Austin, Texas’s Tito’s vodka infused with peppermint with a goPro strapped to it was some next level shit, engineered with the finest duct tape money can buy. I can’t wait to see the supercut.

If you build it, they will come

Christmas time is about bringing people together. I’ve known the big guy for mere months, but I feel like I’ve known Shibby for years. Never one to shy away from talking, I made myself at home and mingled with all of his friends, and what an eclectic crew they were. Fraternity brothers, family, neighbors sporting Star of David sweaters and avid Trump supporters were all there. We even had a few writer friends drop by on the Twitterverse.

And say hi to my boss!

It was a time to set aside religion, politics, backgrounds and drink copious amounts of moonshine, liquor and kill a keg. I know I’ll be having a few new faces trekking down for a Mountaineer game this upcoming fall.

Overall, the weekend was a great success. I learned some new tricks because one can always improve their party game. Life is about experiences, getting out of your comfort zone, playing some games on the road, meeting new people and enjoying this short existence we call life. With a lot of my friends moving away, getting married and having kids, it’s nice to know there’s some people out there that still foster and enjoy a good party and for those about to rock, I salute you..

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Madoff

I specialize in damage control, being the drunkest at any and all functions and social assassination. Always appreciate a strong gif game. Follow me on Twitter. Sometimes I put up cool stuff about golfing at the local dirt tracks.

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