======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ==== ======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ====
Since I was old enough to speak, I’ve been trying to convince people I’m older than I am. This is partially due to the fact that when you’re a kid, being older is fun because you get to do more stuff, like stay up past eight, and partially due to the fact that people always seemed to think I was younger than I was in reality. This was a trend that continued throughout what my mother refers to as my Ugly Betty years, aka puberty, and on into high school and college. I was getting gas the other day and a complete stranger asked if I was old enough to be driving. I totally get being carded at every bar I go to, because that’s what bars do, but seriously? The guy didn’t think I could even be sixteen. It’s even worse in the office because while I actually am one of the youngest people at the company, my coworkers will still double check if I’m old enough to go to happy hour, which I am. It can be embarrassing, having this issue happen over and over again, but I know exactly why it does.
I have what’s generally referred to as a baby face. I have a face that’s round with big cheeks and big eyes, basically. I used to be convinced that the face I was cursed with was going to be nothing but an annoyance until I hit my forties, when it would be nice because I’ll look younger than all the other MILFs. But ever since I started working, I’ve been making it work for me.
What I’ve realized is that having a baby face is useful because it makes people trust you. My coworkers tell me things they would never even consider spilling under normal circumstances because of my face’s misleading appearance of trustworthiness and vulnerability. I have a naturally innocent-looking face, and I do nothing but use it to my absolute advantage to manipulate other people. I’m an absolute pro at keeping secrets until it would benefit me to tell someone, but somehow I always manage to escape being blamed when the truth comes out. My bosses have promoted me since I started at my company partially because I’m capable, but mostly because I said I would be good at something and they trusted me. There might be way more physical evidence that someone else would be better at it than me, but they didn’t have a baby face, and they lost out.
Having this type of look makes it seem like people would be less likely to give me more responsibility, or think I’m not equipped to handle a higher amount of stress since I have the face of an infant, but it doesn’t seem to translate in that direction. It just makes it really difficult to yell at me, or blame me for anything, really. I look about as guilty as, well, an innocent baby, and that makes it impossible to pin things on me, which is perfect for my preferred method of working which involves doing just barely less than necessary to skate by on a daily basis. Here I am, sitting in the office and writing this up right now, and not one person has asked me yet about all the shit I should’ve gotten done today. I give all the credit to the baby face for making it possible..
Image via Shutterstock
Respond
Rory Gilmore
Rory Gilmore on the outside. Emily Gilmore on the inside. Email me funny shit at rory_gilmore20@yahoo.com.
@rory_gilmore20
First person to “sup” gets reported to Chris Hanson
Suhh, dude
Just have a seat right over there please
I am making $89/hour working from home. I never thought that it was legitimate but my best friend is earning $10 thousand a month by working online, that was really surprising for me, she recommended me to try it. just try it out on the following website… http://WWW.buzzfeedreport.TK
Me and four friends walked up to a bar last night to order drinks. I was the only one to get carded.
Riveting fucking tale. You should write a novel.
I’ve come to really embrace my baby face lately. I didn’t realize the perks of the innocent vibe until you mentioned it, and I think it’s saved my ass in more than one situation.
I’m told that I look younger than I am as well and when you and add in my soft, non-commanding voice, people think I just started my junior year of college. Like hah no, graduated 7 years ago chief.
Was checking out at Target last night, “So are you excited for college?”
Buying some of those dorm room-friendly stacking cubes for your organizational needs?
Was buying some new dress shoes for work a couple months ago and was asked if I was excited for prom… I’m 25. Yeah, my face is that young.
Having a few gray’s on the side has always helped me. In situations when older colleagues judge you for being younger it always makes them second guess how “young” I really am.
Soon, we’ll just be old though.
You irl:
I was back home the summer after graduating college, and I was making small talk with a guy at the gym. I mentioned that I just graduated and he goes, “Oh from (local high school)?”
If I shave I get mistaken for much younger, so I keep a short beard/scruff going for that purpose. I might actually go to a HS reunion down the line just to gloat for that reason.
I made a woman in my same position cry last week after she found out I’m younger than her youngest son. She thought I was ten years older. Beards work wonders
People are never sure what to make of my age. I’ve got dark brown (almost black) hair and my few gray hairs are bright shining silver, so they really stick out in any kind of direct light.
My coworkers were all talking about the 80s and they freaked out when I said I was only alive for 2 1/2 months of the 80s.
We might just have the same birthday…
10/14/89 whattup
almost, 10/23/89