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The lines seem easy. The spread looks like cake. The under is a straight gimme. I take them all. Those idiots in Vegas are just trying to give me free money. I can double up everything I have this weekend. Maybe I’ll jump into a parlay or two. Maybe I’ll hit up Five Guys on Monday to ball out with some of my winnings.
Bet lost
Bet lost
Bet won
Bet cancelled
Bet won
Bet lost
Bet won
I mean that’s not terrible. I’m still pretty even for the most part. I can carry this into next weekend and just try again! Wait, these Monday Night Football lines look great. I’m jumping on that under with confidence. Might even take that money line too. We got this.
Deangelo Williams runs across the goal line with a minute left.
This is fine. Everything is fine. There’s another game and I have a lot of money. I’ll jump on some live betting to get back to where I was and then I can roll into next weekend with a big stack. Todd Gurley is +400 to score the first touchdown of the game? No one else in this game is even going to score a touchdown. I am jumping on that. I’ll throw everything I have left on that, quadruple it up, and then I’ll be sitting real nice. There’s no way anyone else scores. These scrubs are about to give me hundreds of dollars, what a bunch of idiots.
Carlos Hyde runs across the goal line and scores.
Why is my world crashing around me? I was supposed to make a bunch of money this weekend, not lose it all! How will I ever recover from this deficit? I’ve got all kinds of things I’m saving up for, but my dumbass is over here gambling all my money away on a bunch of large men in pads and helmets hitting the hell out of each other. Football was way more enjoyable when I didn’t have money involved.
I even bet against my own team Thursday night. I’ve loved this team for twenty years, through all the bad years and the Super Bowls and here I am. Seven months ago I cried tears of joy as we won a Super Bowl, and now I am actually cheering for Cam Newton. I need this cover. I need those extra twenty dollars. I’m not even happy that my team won the game because I lost the bet. This is what I deserve. This is where gambling has taken me.
Why do I even bet on football? Is it peer pressure? Is it because everyone on Twitter is talking about all the spreads and covers and I just want to feel included? Is it because I actually want to make money fast? Is it because I am bored with football and needed to spark it up? Is it because I’m a degenerate?
I just can’t decide if I want to continue. I know my girlfriend wants me to stop. I know my mom would kill me. I know I’m not very good at it. I’m an impulse guy. I don’t always think things through and if I see a good line I am jumping on it. Maybe I should take a break, do some research, touch base later on and re-approach with a new strategy. Maybe I should just stop and save myself the money and stress. If I quit now, I’ll avoid so much future heartbreak and angst. Okay, that’s it. I’ll give it up.
Wait, A&M is +3.5 Saturday? Fuck it, guess I’m making another deposit..
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Respond
@delph_13
@gdelph13
gdelph
Start placing bets on who will kneel during the National Anthem, that’s where the real money is at.
This is a nonsense question. You can’t win if you don’t gamble.
It’s not gambling if you know what you’re doing. It’s “investing.” At least that’s what my buddy says…
Just placed an 11 team NFL/CFB parlay. Can’t wait to be rich.
Do you get in a car everyday? Do you consistently check for black widow spiders in the toilet bowl before you take a shit? There’s no such thing as not gambling Delph. Gambling runs us all. We’re all caught in the racketeering wheel that is human existence.
There he is
Whenever you think gambling is a bad idea just remember the great words from Lloyd Christmas and double down – “So you’re telling me there’s a chance?!”
Use 5 dimes, not bovada. Bv is known for bad lines for rec players. From someone who handicapped for tuition in law school, just remember it’s a marathon not a sprint. Find punters who crush and follow their lines, they’re smarter than you and can do the hard work. Stick to one sport too, it’s too hard to learn multiple sports profitably if not your full time job.
And if not, fuck it, road favorites never cover!!!
Going through the same thing. Got shit faced this weekend and put $20 on Trump firing his campaign manager before Election Day at +1000. Still don’t know if that was a good or a bad bet
How to gamble. Step 1: black craps; Step 2: lose all your money; Step 3. Be one with the homeless people under the highway
Black craps= Popeye’s?
Shit. Black = play. New IOS update has me all turned around.
Play to black? Blaming non-software auto-correction issues on software auto-correction. PGPM
Yes.
is it online? If so, which site do you use? Trying to dip my toes in the water
Bovada sucks. Don’t play on their lines, just depo at 5 dimes and get the best lines possible.
Bovada is the play online. Real men use bookies though
Bovada won’t try to stab you though.
You’ll get better odds, and quicker payouts using a real bookie. But they’re not available for everyone. I like Bovada bc it’s online, and also their living betting features. You can place a bet in seconds–more convenient in my opinion.
That being said I just put in a deposit at the start of the season, and withdraw at the end. Quicker payouts for sure with a real bookie.
Bovada is great, but they don’t offer the same amount of action as a place like Bet DSI.
Oh boy, betting on a game involving Auburn? Playing with fire there, I respect it.