Hunter S. Thompson Sent The Most Absurd Rejection Letter You’ve Ever Seen

Hunter S. Thompson was a remarkable human being. Just an absolute maniac. I mean, we’re talking about a guy whose schedule included waking up at 3 p.m. before drinking, smoking, and doing coke all before 4 o’clock. Seriously — just look.

Frankly, nothing was beyond him. Especially going double middle-fingers to his subordinates when they stepped out of line. Take, for example, Anthony Burgess, the author of A Clockwork Orange. Burgess worked as a journalist for Rolling Stone when Thompson was above him, and his idea to submit a “novella” instead of a “thinkpiece” didn’t exactly go over as well as he’d probably hoped. The long lost artifact of a letter was brought to the surface via Imgur.

“What kind of lame, half-mad bullshit are you trying to sneak over on us? When Rolling Stone asks for ‘a thinkpiece,’ goddamnit, we want a fucking Thinkpiece … and don’t try to weasel out with any of your limey bullshit about a “50,000 word novella about the condition humaine, etc….

Do you take us for a gang of brainless lizards? Rich hoodlums? Dilettante thugs? You lazy cocksucker.

I want that Thinkpiece on my desk by Labor Day. And I want it ready for press.”

The rest of the letter, which is not as scathing as the part where he calls Burgess a “lazy cocksucker” is below.

I actually don’t hate the thought process behind this. Like, Thompson didn’t have time for bullshit between writing, ripping heaters, and having two margarita / two burger lunches before his daily doses of acid. But you know what? That actually kind of sounds like the schedule I’d imagine for a certain Post Grad Problems writer I know.

[via Imgur]

Image via YouTube

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Will deFries (Twitter / Instagram) is a Senior Writer at Grandex and the world's foremost authority on Sunday Scaries (Twitter / Instagram). Email me at

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