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It’s been a tough year, my dudes. This tax bill. Police brutality being exposed. Police brutality being dismissed. Racial tension. Gender equality. Kneeling during the anthem. Net neutrality getting repealed. Every famous person we love being outed as a sexual assaulter. Our president. Guys, our fucking president. There’s probably a million other shitty things that happened this year that I can’t even remember. Whether we agree politically or morally, we can all agree this has been a hard year for America.
It seems like every political issue this country has had has brought us to the brink of another civil war. Granted, I only have 26 years of life experience, but I’ve never seen this level of divisiveness before. And not just a country divided, but a country who hates each other. There has been a negative outpouring from both sides of the aisle, and all it’s doing is causing more anger, fear, and dissent. You can disagree with a political party, and hate it even, without putting that hatred on the half of the country that voted differently than you. My liberal leanings and disagreement with our president has been well-documented in my columns, and yet I’ve found myself defending Republicans against friends and family that only know their Democrat bubble. Not the political party, but the people. The voters. The everyday citizens, who, when you get down to it, are all pretty similar.
What do most people in this country (and probably the world) want, when you boil it down? Happiness? Health? Food for their family, and opportunities for their kids? A place they can call home? Enough money to not live in constant stress and fear? Those are all simple concepts, and, for the most part, all-encompassing. Sure, you get some people who want to control others, to instill fear, or to own the world. But they are few and far between. Most Americans want simple things like health, happiness, and security for their family. The difference, of course, lies in how to best achieve those things. What some think will help, others think will hurt. I’m not going to touch on what I think is the right answer, partly because I’m tired of arguing, and partly because, hell, I don’t even know half the time. I’m just trying to illustrate how similar we all are, regardless of race, religion, gender, or even political leanings.
In a time where every political discussion turns into a screaming match (or more accurately, a Facebook comment war), it’s easy to think of the other side of the aisle as “the enemy.” Democrats call Republicans dumb racists. Republicans call Democrats elitist and hypocritical. And round and round it goes, breeding hatred and distrust. All it takes to break the cycle, I’ve found, is to sit down and meet “the enemy.” My girlfriend’s parents are Republican Trump supporters, and some of the kindest people I have ever met. They are intelligent and college-educated. They are not racist, or homophobic, or sexist. I’m a liberal Democrat with two immigrant parents. Reading the news, you’d think our meetings would devolve into a full-blown fistfight within minutes. And yet, the opposite is true (and not just because her dad could easily whoop my ass). We get along great. They’re funny, smart, caring people, and I’m occasionally not an asshole. We are respectful and thoughtful of each other’s opinions. And that’s it. That’s the big secret to fighting divisiveness in this nation.
Of course, it’s not as easy as all that. Humans are tribal creatures. We subconsciously crave a group to be a part of, and therefore, an enemy to hate. We’re naturally inclined to think of the world as “us” versus “them.” But we have to let that go, and focus on our biggest strength and what we most have in common – our love for this country. Because you can believe, everyone on both sides of the argument loves this country. Nobody would be arguing if they didn’t. Whether you go to a support rally or take to the streets in protest, the fact that people are out there doing something means that they care about this nation and want it to be its best.
When you find yourself on the opposite side of an argument, remember who you’re arguing against. By all means, take action. Call your representatives. Tweet mean things to them if you want. But don’t hate your fellow citizen. Instead, try and understand them. Sit down with them, listen to their points of view, and respectfully share your own. Believe me, I know that’s way harder to do than I’m making it seem, but doing the right thing is hard. Blind hate and judgment are easy. It feels good. It feels like tribal loyalty. But don’t we all have the same tribe? Showing kindness, attempting understanding, and staying respectful is hard. It might not feel good in the moment. Hell, it might even feel like you’re “losing” or “cowering before the enemy,” but you’re not. You’re using the greatest tool you have to defeat the common enemy which are a divided country, ignorance, and fear.
I know this is tough advice, and I sure don’t follow it all the time. I make mistakes, get angry, and attack others. But I’m trying to get better. I’m trying to remember the biggest problems are misinformation and lack of diversity. People who only get their news from one source are putting themselves in an echo chamber and refusing to hear other sides of the argument. That’s weak. If you never take the time to meet people who hold opposite opinions than you and listen to them, it’s a lot easier to dismiss their claims as ignorant. And all that says is that you’re so scared of having your mind changed that you’d rather just live in blissful ignorance. To me, that seems like you’re not too sure that your opinion is right.
We live in the golden age of information, so use it to your advantage. Broaden your horizons. See the humanity in others and let them see the humanity in you. Work together to make this country, and our lives, better. Don’t work against each other and solve nothing. This year has been hard, but together, maybe we can make next year a little better. Hang in there, America..
Respond
Nick Arcadia
The opposite of a life coach. Email or DM me if you want some bad advice: nickarcadiapgp@gmail.com
@noampao
noamio
No matter what your political leanings, I think we can all agree that America is still the best. Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays you magnificent bastards.
Had a great year. See you all on the other side.
Me too. Amazing how great a year you can have when you don’t base your happiness on which political party is in power.
Must admit, 2017 was a great year for people that can turn a blind eye to the suffering of others!
IDontCare, I want you to know that I don’t care.
Nick’s right, guys. Everyone just needs to join the Good Vibe Tribe and if you want to be an asshole and fuck that up for the rest of us kind hearted people, we’ll fucking kill you, alright!
Well put, Nived. We don’t take kindly to folks who don’t take kindly around here.
Lmao
I had a great year. I went from a job that had me working 12 hour night shifts 7 days a week for 2 months a time, with a week off in-between, to my dream job in my hometown. This will be my first Christmas in two years I get to spend with my family and my dog and not on a drilling rig. I got dumped, but hindsight being 20 20 it was a bad relationship to be in anyway and we both are better off. And my Houston Astros won the World Series! And I got to watch it with my Dad, which is a big deal for us. He used to pull me out of school to go to day games.
I hope this is interpreted how I mean it to be interpreted: proof that good things can happen if you keep moving forward. Best of luck to all y’all in 2018. Compass come get a beer.
The fact that we can have these types of discussions – OK, Facebook comment wars – without any fear of repercussions is proof of how great of a country this is. We went from one half of the country calling the President a dumbass to another half of the country calling the President a dumbass, all without batting an eye. Regardless of what you think of Trump or what you thought of Obama or Bush or Clinton, being able to criticize them and their policies to your heart’s desire is a unique freedom that so much of the world does not have. It’s what makes ‘Murrica so fucking amazing.
I don’t know what you have been smoking lil Nick, I crushed 2017.
Very well said, keep your chins up everyone
Hey, great corn flakes by the way. Really looking forward to eating more of those things for every single meal once the economy collapses again in 2018 and stuff. Great product. Great product. You take care now. Don’t you go raising prices on us like a little piece of shit. Alright, have a good one. Seriously lol
Can’t be overstated in how much social media plays into this picture of hatred an outside observer might have of the U.S. – it’s incredible how much more civil people tend to be when talking about these things in person. More of that and less Facebook fights would do a lot of good.
I agree. If you didn’t watch the news or read social media and just paid attention to what is really happening around you I think you would realize there is much less divisiveness in many places. Are our lives drastically different since Obama was in office to now either? I don’t see it
I’m sorry but that’s an extremely privileged comment. Depending on the industry you work in, immigration status, employment status, age, gender identity, etc then yes your life might be very different. If you are a white cis straight male of legal immigration status then I’m sure you feel no difference, but that’s not the experience of many Americans.
What the fuck is a white “cis” straight male? Jesus Christ.
Agreed. Spent the entire summer and fall knocking doors talking politics with people and it’s disheartening to see what social media is turning people into when it comes to political disagreements. I’ve had tons of civil, even really insightful discussions with some of the most ardent Trump supporters.
The major positive in this year’s political climate is the focus towards local/state/senate elections. It seems like more people care about them.
A big ol slice of humble pie for this guy in 2017. Hopefully be back on my feet again soon.
Happens to us all. Feel free to write once in awhile though. I always enjoyed em.
I have been writing. Just not here. One short book published, one short story collection on its way, one novella nearly ready for publication, one novel started. PGP has changed a bit since I wrote for it. My stuff isn’t what they are looking for anymore.
Good luck with the publications
I’ve thoroughly enjoyed reading all three of y’alls work. Thanks for making work fly by across America
Always liked your work. How can I get more info on your other writings?
I’m not going to link it here because that wouldn’t be cool to PGP and they treated me well. The ebook that is already published is on waterfowl hunting, not exactly a big sect of the PGP readership. The short story collection, which will be the next to drop under that pen name, will be about some of my outdoors adventures, including a run in (think feet, not yards) I had with a injured black bear this last fall in Montana. I’m hoping to get it published in February. The novel won’t be ready for at least a year. The novella will be under a different pen name because it’s an entirely different genre (kind of a rom-com) and will come out in January I think. I’m not certain how I’m going to promote it yet. But if the first few things interest you, you can find me on Instagram at @deschainadam and you can get to them from there. If nothing else, you can give me a follow and check out some of the cool shit I do/make/eat.
Thanks for the info. I don’t have any experience in waterfowl hunting but I do have an interest. The book might get me to take the first step. I’ll give you a follow. Merry Christmas to you and yours.
Bought! I’ve never actually hunted duck or geese but I’m a lapsed upland bird and turkey hunter and also consider myself a domesticated redneck. Looking forward to reading it
Lol “I won’t link it but here’s my Instagram that contains the link”
PGP doesn’t have a DM feature. What do you want from me?
Wow, can’t believe it’s been 2 years since your last column. Always liked your stuff too.
I appreciate the kind words folks.
Where can one find these?