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The first three weeks at his new job had felt like an eternity. A painful, sweating-through-your-button-down type of eternal hell. The only positive aspects to the entire experience were: A) Courtney with the tight ass and pencil skirts at the front desk, and B) his parents getting off his dick about a job. In fact, they were so proud of him that they had decided to rescind the initial threat to take away the family and company credit cards. Don’t call it a comeback.
He had blown a shit-ton of money on completely unnecessary work clothes, including a couple tailored suits and some Moncler polos for casual Fridays. Little did he know, that he was the gossip of the entire office. He had taken to wearing his dad’s old Datejust: a watch worth more than the other entrance-level account managers’ monthly salaries. He was flying close to the sun, hitting on every single female intern in the building, and reportedly having “drinking” lunches with his new buddy John from the other mega-banking institution in the building next door.
The weekend had finally rolled around, and he was ready to let loose. Unfortunately, he had a mid-day call with some clients on Saturday, and none of his usual pals were down to clown. Instead of having a day-rager like he so badly wanted, he instead smoked a couple bowls and left his client-call on speaker-phone while he played FIFA. They didn’t need his input, anyway. He was there merely as a formality.
He grew antsy as the day dragged on, restless. He wanted out of the house. He wanted to hit the bars and drink overpriced cocktails with the rest of the yuppie nation in the city. Forrest was out of town visiting their alma mater and some chick he used to sleep with in college. Kyle and Logan were on a hunting trip and had left earlier that week on Wednesday. They wouldn’t be back until the following night. He paused the game and placed his controller on the weed-littered coffee table.
He slid open his iPhone, tapping his thumb on the side as he tried to figure out a plan. Who else did he know around here? Suddenly, it dawned on him. John. He was a cool ass dude. He seemed like the type to rip heaters on the back patio of the bar at half-past 11:00.
He typed up a casual text to his new buddy John: “Hey, man. You down to get some beers tonight? Been a long-ass week and I heard the interns are going to Lago for drinks and out to the bars after. You in?”
He locked his phone to avoid looking for the dreaded ‘texting dots’ that indicated that the other person was replying. He felt like he was asking a girl out for the first time, nervous his new friend would turn him down on the offer. He sure was taking a long time to respond. Maybe he had been too forward. They’d only grabbed lunch a few times. Three minutes that felt like years later, his phone made a loud buzz.
Picking up his phone, he saw a text from an unsaved number.
“Hey stud. You gonna be out tonight? I may or may not be on your side of town…”
He blinked twice, hard. He’d know that number anywhere. It was Macy. His stomach dropped. Suddenly he wanted to see her. Fuck. No, he didn’t. That was idiotic. He definitely didn’t want to see her. But maybe he could run into her later? Fuuuuuck. No. Why did the guys pick this weekend to leave him with no backup? He contemplated every decision in his life he had mad up until this point when his phone buzzed again in his hand. It was John.
“Hey dude I’m totally down. Just got a few things to take care of first. Let’s pregame at my place, I’ll invite some chicks from my building. I’ll send you the address. Is it cool if I bring my friend Todd along? He’s trying to blow off some steam, too. Swear he’s a good time.”
He almost texted John back and told him never mind, he would be staying in after all. He almost replied and took it all back. He knew how the stars would align. He would run into Macy. She had some sort of magnetic pull on him. He could just stay home and avoid it all.
But that’s not what closers do. He was going to the bars, dammit. He was going to the bars with his new friends, and by God, he was going to get blacked tonight..
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Todd? THE Todd?!
Yes! Give the people not what we want, but what we need!
Lets be real, it’s probably not THAT Todd, she’s just trying to fuck with us.
We don’t need negativity like this in the comment section.
C’mon man live a little. John, who works at a mega banking institution (J.P Morgan Chase) with a friend named Todd, who is looking to blow off steam the same day he got into a heated lunch argument with his girlfriend? It seems too perfect to not be true. Call me naive, but I choose to believe!
Plot twist, Macy is Girl
Oh shit…..
You just blew my mind, Mr. 19th Hole. I knew I always liked you for a reason.
We need fan theories like these on Friday mornings.
We’re pretty deep into the internet weeds when we’re doing fan theories for frat bro fan-fic blog posts.
I dig it.
Hate to be this person but Macy dumped Guy a few months ago so she can’t be Girl.
The cross over begins!!!
This is some Marvel/DC shit right here
You’re flying real close to the sun here. Best of luck.
We’re 2 weeks away from a Gill appearance
Don’t you toy with my emotions like that!
HOLD MY BEER! Todd? The Todd & John?
Can’t be the John, John is married.
I want it to be the same John and Todd so bad.
Could “Guys Being Dudes” be the prequel to TGDAG?
I didn’t think Todd met John until after he started dating Girl.
What if this is the story of how John and Caroline met?
FUCK YESSSSSS. This could be big……or you could fail epically and ruin another good story line #RIPFratRomance
Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead
And so the seeds of a PGP Cinematic Universe are sowed…
Caroline and Girl stay in while John, Guy, and Todd go out. It’s going to be a doozie.
Here’s to hoping the PGP Cinematic Universe ends up with a Civil War (mostly between Girl and Todd).
hope they all run into Macy, and Todd is the one who ends up carving her out.
I….. I need a moment.