Good News! Dr. Pepper Is The Fountain Of Youth

Woman Lives to 104 Drinking Three Doctor Peppers A Day

Read it and weep the happiest of tears: Dr. Pepper is the fountain of youth.

Fort Worth resident Elizabeth Sullivan turned 104 this week, and chalks up her centenarian lifestyle to the three Dr. Peppers she’s had each day for the past 40 years.

“Every doctor that sees me says they’ll kill you, but they die and I don’t,” Sullivan told CNN affiliate KTVT.

Lawlz, Elizabeth… over a hundo and still a sass.

“Man I’m feeling good. I’m glad I’m still here. I’m glad I’m not in a rest home. Glad I can read books and watch TV and have people come by and say hello,” Sullivan says.

I assume all of Elizabeth’s friends and doctors drank Diet Coke and ended up blind, friendless, and living in nursing homes. She really seems to be shoving her 104 years in some faces. Some presumably dead faces.

I feel you, Elizabeth. Everyone always laughs at me too when I tell them I don’t drink Diet Coke. WHO’S LAUGHING NOW? Dr. Pepper in the morning, Dr. Pepper at night, Dr. Pepper in my whiskey–if the 23 flavors really are what makes the fountain of youth, I plan on living forever. Bow to us, mortals.

[via HLN]

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My state gave you J. Law, Clooney, two-fifths of the Backstreet Boys, and multiple fifths of bourbon. I gave you a cover letter using Brian McKnight lyrics. Psuedo-adult by day; PGP, TFM, and TSM contributor by night. Please don't ask me to do math.

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