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When I first became single again early last year, my friends encouraged me to join Tinder. Having heard it was “hookup” app, I resisted. Swiping right and left to find someone to take home for the night didn’t really appeal to me. While I hold no judgment for people who are looking for that kind of thing, I’m just more of a relationship girl. So I resisted. For a while.
Tinder has the same origins of all great things – meaning, of course, it began with the gays. Launched in 2009, Grindr is an app that lets gay, bisexual, and bi-curious men meet up for… well, whatever. User numbers quickly hit 4 million users and, naturally, we heterosexuals started clamoring for our own version. So then in 2012, a group of developers answered our call and gave us Tinder.
And for a while, that really worked. People would swipe left and right in an effort to find someone within an acceptable radius to bang, and everyone was happy. As of April 2015, there are 1.6 billion Tinder profiles, so if you can’t find yourself a cunnilingus companion, well… maybe you need to rethink your profile .
But then, in the opinion of several of my dude friends, Tinder slowly got ruined. Why? Well, I’ll blame it mostly on my own sex, because frankly, it was our fault. Much like we do with relationships and wine corks, we ladies keep trying to make Tinder into something it wasn’t meant to be. Instead of allowing it to stay an app where people could find a banging buddy for a night or two, we thought we didn’t have enough avenues to find relationships and we’ve tried to turn Tinder into a boyfriend finder. We decided that there were no decent guys on regular dating sites and turned to a site that was founded on the premise of one-night stands to find happily-ever-after.
So now, instead of taking it as the lighthearted app it was supposed to be, we take it way too seriously. We become offended when dudes lead with classy lines such as “Wanna fuck?” and “Buttstuff?” We agonize for days after a good date with a Tinder dude, but can see that he was “Last Active 8 Minutes Ago.” We match with a super-hot dude and contemplate if it’s appropriate to send him a message or if you’ll seem too eager. We chat with someone three times and we start imagining him in the slot we’ve allocated for the groom in our already-planned-on-Pinterest wedding. We’ve completely sucked the fun out of something that was supposed to be all about one-time-only pleasure.
And I’m just as guilty. Because despite my early resistance, I gave in and downloaded the app after I fell for the stories of girls who met their wonderful significant others on Tinder, which I am now convinced are urban legends. For a while, I believed that swiping could lead to my soulmate. I met two guys who I really liked and didn’t understand why it didn’t work out, despite the fact I had met them on a site whose entire original premise was hooking you up with a hookup. To Max and George – I’m sorry I took it way too seriously. And I’m also sorry you never got to see my boobs.
While there are likely some guys who are just as guilty of ruining Tinder, I firmly believe the majority of the blame sits right on ladies’ not-so-broad shoulders. So my fellow ladies – I beg of you, let’s all agree to stop ruining Tinder. If you’re looking for your future husband, delete Tinder and pony up some cash for eHarmony, Match or Farmers Only; if your budget restrains you, try out Plenty of Fish or OkCupid. It’s time we let Tinder go back to what it was meant to be – an endless source of ridiculous pick-up lines and one night stands. We’ll all be better off. .
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