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I graduated college nearly three years ago today. As much as that sentence terrifies me, since I’m still in denial about my age, I’m way less scared than I felt on that day in 2013. When I shook the dean’s hand and walked stumbled (I got pretty aggressive at happy hour beforehand) off the stage, that was the last decision of my life that was clearly marked for me. From the moment I was born until the moment that diploma was in my hand, my life path was clearly laid out. I went to grade school, middle school, and then high school. There was never any question of whether I was going to go to college, but rather which one I would pick. I knew I wanted to major in advertising from the age of 14, and I stuck to that degree path my entire way through college. And then all of a sudden my path ended.
I had never thought about my plan after college outside of a vague “get a job and work my way up the ladder” plan and a belief that everything would work out. For the first time in my entire life, I began to feel immense stress and pressure. Not only was I losing the carefree lifestyle I had loved so much, but the path of my life was splitting into a million different routes, and I had no idea which to choose. Three years later, my life isn’t any clearer, and I’ve definitely chosen the wrong path a few times, but I’ve picked up a few tips to dealing with the anxiety of this limbo period along the way.
1. Always keep moving.
The real world is stressful. You have a job you have to go to every day, and perform well at every day. If you mess up, you could get fired. Even if you don’t mess up, you could get fired. If the economy messes up, you could get fired. And if you don’t have that job, you won’t be able to pay your bills. Important bills; like Spotify Premium, or Amazon Prime, or I guess your rent and shit. All that stress definitely weighs on you, whether you feel it all the time or not. That’s why you have to be a shark.
According to a Snapple cap I read in high school, if sharks stop moving, their gills can’t extract oxygen from the water and they die. They would literally suffocate in their own environment. People are the same way. When you reach that stage where you’re anxious and you don’t know what your next step should be, or the weight of all of your responsibilities seems too large to handle, just move forward and do one thing. Freaking out about your new beer belly? Go to the grocery store and buy vegetables. Got a client presentation that could decide your career? Just write the first opening line. The rest will come once you get the wheels moving.
2. Give yourself an out.
One of my biggest stressors is the feeling of being trapped. When you depend on your job to keep a roof over your head, it’s easy to feel caged into your lifestyle. I combat this by giving myself an exit strategy. This exit strategy doesn’t have to be a good one, or even remotely realistic, it just has to exist to let you know there’s a way out.
My personal strategy is that I can always move home with my parents, regroup, and start over. For those of you who don’t have that safety net, it can be something like “buy a one-way ticket to Australia and work at a bar to scrape by,” or even “rob a bank and live a life on the lam.” Like I said, it doesn’t have to be something you actually want to do, it should just exist to remind you that you have options. Just the idea of having a way out is enough to make me okay with the fact that I will hopefully never need it. Side note – this also works as relationship advice for those of us who are scared of commitment.
3. Use the 7/7/7 rule.
A lot of people assign the same amount of importance to everything that happens in their lives. I’ve watched friends freak out equally over being late to work and an illness in the family. Things are always going to go wrong in your (and everyone’s) life, and you have to be able to triage their importance and react appropriately. The 7/7/7 rule is just asking yourself if what you’re stressing about is going to matter in seven days, seven weeks, or seven months.
At our stage in life, 90% of the things that you’re worried about aren’t even going to crack the seven week mark, let alone seven months. Here’s some examples of real things I’ve watched people freak out about recently:
“I got ghosted by this douchebag after three dates that I thought were going well.” Sorry, but there’s no way you’re going to still care in 49 days. I’ve seen how many matches you’ve got on Bumble, you’ll be fine.
“I made a work mistake that cost my company thousands of dollars.” Not great, but unless you make a habit of it, this will have blown over before two months.
“I just realized I’m fat AF.” This is the only example that could make it past seven weeks to fix, but you’ll likely have it under control before seven months. Just take a breath, think about the actual long-term effects of your problem, and react appropriately. Stressing is hard work; don’t add it to your life unnecessarily.
4. Talk to someone.
I’m not ashamed to admit that in my first six months after graduation, I dealt with some anxiety/depression. I was working fifty hours a week just weeks after being able to wake up at noon every day, I had broken up with my long-term girlfriend, and I felt like I was losing the carefree person I had always been. I actually ended up going to the ER because I felt like I wasn’t able to breathe, and outright denied/yelled at the doctor’s when they told me it was a panic attack. “I don’t get stressed,” I thought, and “there’s no way this could just be in my head.”
After several more doctor appointments (because I’m stubborn and figured I had cancer, like WebMD was always telling me), I eventually agreed to see a therapist. If you’re struggling to deal with the postgrad limbo, I would highly recommend talking to a professional. They’re like a friend that has to listen to you because you’re paying them, and despite that awful comparison, they can be a huge help. Everyone needs someone to talk to, and your mom is probably tired of hearing you complain. .
Image via YouTube
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Nick Arcadia
The opposite of a life coach. Email or DM me if you want some bad advice: nickarcadiapgp@gmail.com
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Again, this has nothing to do with the column, but I believe we’re going to throw together a podcast to discuss the site changes. We appreciate the feedback. Also, how bout Nick Arcadia lately? Guy’s really good.
I don’t like change.
I concur.
Yo Dave, you know forums would be a great way to address your reader audience of upcoming changes, instead of posting on an unrelated article. Just sayin’.
This change is garbage. Stick with the Red Desk logo
Nick is definitely a highlight of PGP.
Control your hormones.
What, a lady can’t take shots in the comments?
(Not that I was trying to Nick’s girlfriend if you read the site)
Don’t you dare ruin Nick like you did with Duda
All I need to know is what the hell the logo is supposed to be. I can get used to new colors and layout even if I don’t like change
There’s a Saved by the Bell style cell phone in the first P. Not sure what it looks like on the app, but it’s impossible to tell what it is on my desktop. They posted it to Facebook, which is the only reason I know.
Ahhh ok. Yeah can’t tell what it is on desktop. App hasn’t been updated yet. Thanks for your wisdom
is that what it is? i couldn’t tell and just assumed that my internet was outdated lol
Excited to hear it. Also, does the Texas Law Hawk have a shot at becoming someone who does “Drunk History”-esque Drunk Landmark Cases in Con Law/Contracts/Crim Law/ et. al. podcast with you, or was all that talk about a law school cast just a tease?
I’m finishing 2L required courses this week, and I need this man. C’mon.
$ 89 per hour Seriously, I do not know why more people have not tried it, I work two shifts, 2 hours in the day and 2 in the evening … and I receive an unsatisfactory check for $ 12520 which is genial is Im Works from home if I get more time with my children.
This is what I do. >>>>>>>>> http://www.CareerToday00.Tk
I was once like this too and then I basically became an existential nihilist but actually had hobbies and interests. I now wake up each day knowing that absolutely nothing i do or anyone else does actually matters at all so I basically don’t get stressed out anymore and just try to enjoy stupid bullshit since being an adult is basically all bullshit and the second you realize and accept this notion, you’ve officially become an adult. Welcome kids! It’s like you’ve just enrolled back in daycare except you drive yourself to it and then it lasts like wayyyyy longer
Nived, I’m so glad you’re back.
Thanks, it feels good to be back
Dude, how do you handle every single day without goals and a promise life will get better?
Don’t get me wrong, I def have goals but I just take a step back and remember that even if I don’t accomplish them, they probably didn’t matter all that much anyway so when I do accomplish them, it means something. Basically i have put myself into a win win situation even if I don’t “win”
Has that had any sort of impact on your social life/meeting new friends?
To be honest, it’s made things easier because I just say things off the cuff and it’s usually what a lot of ppl already feel deep down, I just say it out loud and then it opens doors for new conversations. The people that don’t like it or understand it are people I don’t want to be friends with anyway so I just make fun of them until they leave and of force themselves to change
5. Go get hammered in a foreign country.
That’s what I spent my weekend doing. Salud, Espáña!
Great column, especially the 7/7/7. How often do you get told that you look like the guy in the picture? I’m man enough to admit I’m familiar with the show, Schmidt is hilarious.
I don’t care what anyone says, ‘New Girl’ is great.
Honestly, like once a week.
I honestly thought it was Nick at first glance, was proud he made it to stock photo status.
I love this list. Shame and guilt help guide us to be better people and keep from making mistakes, but it shouldn’t drag us down so much that we don’t do anything.
It’s like you wrote down every feeling I’ve ever had since graduation. Hands down my favorite column I’ve ever read on this site. Let me buy ya a beer sometime, Nick.
5. Take a nap and decide later
Needed this today as I’m feeling an extra wave of anxiety.
Definitely agree to seeing a therapist. For me it’s just good to have a non-biased opinion to help with guidance through life in general.
Great read. This came at just the right time for me.
By the way, I saw you at the gym in Chicago – you should be worried for more than 7 months about your terrible racket ball skills.
Guy already has stalkers. That’s how you he’s made it to the big time.
*know. Damnit.