Had a dentist appointment this morning. Thanks to the laughing gas it was the highlight of my day. PGP.

There is a puddle of pee that accumulates under both urinals everyday by noon. PGP.

Doing laps around my office floor to up my step count on the iPhone Health app. PGP.

Had to poop on my lunch break. PGP.

Playing the “how often can I use the bathroom before he boss says something” game. PGP.

Making up your own title. PGP.

I’m now in a group text with couples. PGP.

“Can you make it here by 7?” PGP.

The desperate search for decent talk radio when traveling for work. PGP.

Facebook creeping someone before adding them on LinkedIn. PGP.

Happy Friday! PGP.

I’m experimenting with new ironing techniques. PGP.

Took a week off. Still worked every day. PGP.

“I think I’m gonna make the switch from coffee to tea.” PGP.

Happy Hour on a Monday. PGP.

Second day in a row that a coworker has brought his children into the office. One of them is crying. Crying while I’m trying to work. PGP.

I didn’t have time to take a nap before I went out. PGP.

Attempting to network by adding someone you don’t know personally on LinkedIn and then awkwardly meeting them in person. PGP.

Sometimes when I get drunk I check my credit score. PGP.

I have more connections on LinkedIn than friends on Facebook. PGP.