1. Everyone is better looking. Whether it’s the beer goggles or the fact that neither party is sober enough to find the light switch, everybody just seems hotter. 2. It’s way more difficult to be a bad kisser when both…Read More »

Dating is so out. Looking through pictures of locals who might touch your genitals is so in. 1. The workforce has my social life by the balls, which makes it extremely difficult to interact with other humans outside of the office.…Read More »

Running errands What your boss thinks it means: “Go specifically to places A, B, and C with no stops in between and come straight back to work.” What you’re actually doing: Go to place A. Stop at Starbucks. Go to…Read More »

If you’re lucky/unfortunate enough to have a girlfriend, then you’ve likely watched several sporting events with her by now. Maybe she was already into sports, but more likely, you’ve been slowly teaching her the basics of everything so that the…Read More »

Everyone’s always ranting about how great the future is going to be, which is fine. Killing off malaria, figuring out a cheaper way to desalinate ocean water, going to Mars, etc. It’s all pretty cool shit, so I get how…Read More »

Kimmel Jimmy Kimmel hosted his 8th Annual “Jimmy Kimmel Live” Belly Flop contest, where he essentially pulls fat guys and hot chicks off the streets of Hollywood to flop gut-first into an above-ground pool. Now that’s entertainment. He also talked…Read More »

By all conventional means, I’m an “adult.” I have a job. I pay my bills (relatively) on time. I buy groceries. But emotionally, I might be a little questionable. I’m not exactly sure how I feel about a lot of…Read More »

Another Father’s Day has come and gone, a day of grilling, drinking, golf (of the miniature variety), and celebrating the man who easily could have shot off in the sink, but instead chose to make you. Isn’t that sweet? Sitting at…Read More »