Immediately jumping from the blissful heaven known as college into the warped, depressing reality we all know as an Entry-level job there are so many things that will change quicker than you can say, “fuck me,” but there are 5 thing that won’t immediately change…
If you were anything like me in college, you were typically a four or more nights a week bar goer. While your liver has gone through countless non-running marathons of binge drinking during tailgates, 21st birthdays and senior year you never would have considered that an actual marathon could be an attainable goal…
Nicole in Reception here!!!! First off, Happy Wednesday! It’s almost the weekend – YAY! And it’s a long one! I don’t know about you guys, but I’m super excited to get my BBQ on for Labor Day…
Remember back in college when you could get catatonically drunk, make David Hasselhoff’s cheeseburger video look like an AA meeting, yet cure your hangover with a brisk walk and some Chipotle? Unfortunately, the days of maintaining your figure has turned into a war between you and your body…
There are plenty of ways to get your laundry done. Which route you take says a lot about who you are as a person, and where you are in this great adventure of life…
Well, it finally happened. I’ve been somewhat dreading this moment ever since I left college. The photo came across my Facebook timeline around 12:47 Central Standard Time. Someone I used to have sex with in college is having a child…
It’s early Saturday morning. You wake up, look around and assess. Where am I? Why am I naked? What happened last night? You blink a few times and realize you are safely tucked into your bed, alone. Phew, one mystery down, 100 more to go. Where is my phone? Did I lose my wallet? How …
I bob, weave, and jaywalk to make it from point A to point B in the shortest time possible, but as I walked to work today I couldn’t help but think what it would be like if some of these people had their own lane…
I attended a birthday party for my buddy over the weekend. You know, it was a pretty good time, too. We drank beers, ate some decent barbecue, threw washers, shot the shit, etc. It was a pretty typical postgrad house party. The issue I had with it, though, is that it was a pretty typical …
It’s syllabus week at your alma mater. If you’re anything like me, then it feels like a distant memory…
The monotony of your everyday life starts with an alarm. You don’t set an alarm? You are some kind of genetically advanced human if your internal clock is actually that impressive. For us mere mortals, our morning alarm notifies us that we were not actually sleeping with Alex Morgan, and shames us for thinking that …
The term has become so ubiquitous that it’s hard to define exactly what being a douchebag entails anymore. So many different types and subdivisions of the category have emerged, that what was once a great insult to throw at somebody acting particularly inane has now become just another joke that could literally apply to anyone …
This was it. I had my own team, for lack of a better term, of interns under my command. The power. My God, the power…
When it comes to dating, things don’t always go as planned. You could meet a potential mate at a bar, really hit it off, agree to a dinner date, and then, once you’re sitting across from him or her at Olive Garden, realize you only liked that person because you were hammered, and now you …
When I open my desk drawer and pull out my business card, I instantly have two feelings wash over me simultaneously: pride and disgust. You only get one first impression with people, and here is mine on this little piece of off-white cardstock. Fuck.
If my quarter-life crisis is any indication of what my midlife crisis will be like, I’m going to be burning the candle at both ends, abusing my liver, OD-ing on Viagra, and nailing Hooters waitresses until my family intervenes and I finally get married at age 44…
After graduating, you’ll be fortunate enough to get an entry-level job at a generic mid-sized company. You’ll have 50 coworkers that you pretend to be on a first name basis with, while struggling to make conversation between your Reddit and Facebook breaks. The good news is, there are at least four people who do less work than you…
Drew Magary is a correspondent for GQ and a columnist for Deadspin. His first novel, The Postmortal, is a personal favorite of mine, and his new book, Someone Could Get Hurt, is on shelves now. Bolen: Your new book is all about the ups and downs of parenthood. Two of my good friends are about …
