Because America

Because America

Lately, and I don’t think I’m alone in this, I’ve been seeing a lot of negativity about the state of our wonderful country. If you watch the news, it’s like watching the USA remix of “99 Problems.” Riots and civil unrest everywhere, overseas threats, feuding political parties, a goddamn Ebola scare, and then a subsequent backlash for getting so scared of Ebola. Things haven’t seemed to have been on their A-game for the Stars and Stripes. Based on social media and the national news, national pride seems to be on somewhat of a downswing, and sometimes that’s pretty upsetting. If you’re like me, and sometimes you just feel a little down about the lack of morale about the country, just remember why you should be feeling exactly the opposite.

Because America, that’s why.

At least once a day, you see some example of lack of fucks given badassery, or gluttony, all justified by the phrase “Because America.” Whether it’s a grilled cheese sandwich covered in bacon, or an unsafe kegstand on a 4th floor balcony, it’s all acceptable and a perfect showcase of freedom, Because America goddammit. I beam with pride for my country when I see someone post a video of a freakshow on the news that’s destined to get the clown a million dollar show on TLC, all Because America.

What other country can excuse outlandish food, behavior, and its dumbest/most ingenious citizens simply by saying it’s because of our country. Now, I don’t have many foreigners on my social media outlets, but I’m not seeing anyone else namedropping their country as a source of pride for allowing whatever they’re doing to occur. What other country can pride itself on its ability to allow their citizens to take freedom to a whole new level, all because they’re blessed to live in the greatest damn fifty states on the planet.

You can’t get this kind of pride anywhere else, it just doesn’t work. “I just got told to see a dentist, Because England,” or “I’m a pale alcoholic, Because Ireland,” or even “My money is absolutely worthless, and my life is in shambles, Because Greece.” Doesn’t have the same beautiful ring to as throwing the Stars and Stripes out there to justify the fact that you just blacked out at a wedding and fell into their multi-cheese nacho fountain, now does it? No matter how generally frowned upon your activity may be to a more cultured and uptight group of people, our beautiful nation lets to you name drop the shit out of it and takes pride in your ability to take a Happy Gilmore cut with your ball teed up in your buddies mouth, because freedom allows it.

Things aren’t always smooth sailing in the USA, which is true with anywhere in the world. We are gonna argue and disagree, and sometimes it seems like we’re all just on different pages. Despite all that, our sense of admiration for this great country that we are so fortunate to live in shines through every day, because while sometimes we don’t agree on a presidential candidate, marriage rights, or if Lil B can actually curse people, dammit if we don’t agree that America is the perfect place to enjoy a hot dog covered 1,300 calories worth of toppings.

Image via Shutterstock

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Kyle Bandujo

The artist formerly known as Crash Davis. My kid doesn't think I'm funny.

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