We are constantly reminded on social media and in online columns that dating in the Tinder Age is a dumpster fire. I am as guilty as anyone about this and I know – you get it, get over it.
Regardless, it is a truth, and because of that I am shocked that the solution of “the marriage pact” is rarely spoken of. If you’re not familiar with the term, it is when you and a friend, a paramour, or even an ex of your preferred sex (not here to judge) promise to marry each other with the condition that both parties are single at some arbitrary age.
Most women I’ve spoken to about this pick when they turn 30 because that’s apparently the magic number before meltdown for much of the female population. “I cannot be single at 30,” they cry.
I have mixed feelings about marriage pacts even after being offered one. I think that you are either settling or you’re putting off the right person so you can sow your wild oats.
Most likely the former.
As a guy, it’s tougher for me to understand because I don’t have the biological clock factor going for me, although some studies show a man has a biological clock as well.
For men over 40, data shows that the risk of birth defects for your future children increases significantly, and there are also additional risks if both parents are over 35. Word to the wise, fellas. Don’t take your swimmers for granted.
Anyway, besides babies and vanity, what are the real drivers behind a marriage pact? Is it just that trying is too difficult? I think you’ll find more quality partners out in the wild, but that’s just me still in the hunt. Risk/reward and all that. Swiping is easy. Too easy. And too deceptive. So, setting up a pact with someone you know well, trust, and are comfortable with is an interesting proposition. It’s not something you’ll take lightly anyways. It’ll be someone you can see yourself with and find attractive.
I don’t know, I hate the idea of settling. Either you marry that person on the spot or you’re not that serious. The merits of the concept are obvious, given the time factor as you get older, and as the old saying goes, “At this point, if I’m going to get married, I probably already know her (or him).”
Hopefully, they don’t have a venereal disease.
On the other side of the coin, the idea that there might be something better out there troubles me. about Is there a higher probability of infidelity among people married through these “pacts”? What if one sets their marriage pact at 32 and meets the perfect person at 33?
This brings me back to my core question. If offered one, should I take it? I’d probably be happy, but I’ll feel like I settled. And, as much a fan as I am of Ernest Hemingway, I’m not planning on having three or more wives. These are tough questions and to be honest, even considering a marriage pact is the ultimate post grad problem. .