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Kids these days. I was recently listening to a podcast where a bunch of high school girls described how they interacted with their peers on various forms of social media, namely Instagram. It blew my mind. I mean, it was a language all its own. Some things meant another thing, some things were meaningless, and some things just purely didn’t make sense to me. It was almost as insightful as the poll where they asked a bunch of kids what’s considered to be “cool” these days.
But in the same fashion that we used to use A/S/L for “Age Sex Location” (which is weirdly on this list), kids are still using a ton of abbreviations to dupe parents and old people like me. Do I believe that kids still use this entire list of potentially outdated phrases? No, that would be absurd because no one needs to say “YGM” for “You’ve Got Mail” anymore. And besides, there’s Snapchat where everything disappears anyway, so kids are just abusing the hell out of that.
But, per KVUE, here they are:
1. 143 – I love you
2. 2DAY – Today
3. 4EAE – For ever and ever
4. ADN – Any day now
5. AFAIK – As far as I know
6. AFK – Away from keyboard
7. ASL – Age/sex/location
8. ATM – At the moment
9. BFN – Bye for now
10. BOL – Be on later
11. BRB – Be right back
12. BTW – By the way
13. CTN – Can’t talk now
14. DWBH – Don’t worry, be happy
15. F2F or FTF – Face to face
16. FWB – Friends with benefits
17. FYEO – For your eyes only
18. GAL – Get a life
19. GB – Goodbye
20. GLHF – Good luck, have fun
21. GTG – Got to go
22. GYPO – Get your pants off
23. HAK – Hugs and kisses
24. HAND – Have a nice day
25. HTH – Hope this helps / Happy to help
26. HW – Homework
27. IDK – I don’t know
28. IIRC – If I remember correctly
29. IKR – I know, right?
30. ILY / ILU – I love you
31. IM – Instant message
32. IMHO – In my honest opinion / In my humble opinion
33. IMO – In my opinion
34. IRL – In real life
35. IWSN – I want sex now
36. IU2U – It’s up to you
37. IYKWIM – If you know what I mean
38. J/K – Just kidding
39. J4F – Just for fun
40. JIC – Just in case
41. JSYK – Just so you know
42. KFY – Kiss for you
43. KPC – Keeping parents clueless
44. L8 – Late
45. LMBO – Laughing my butt off
46. LMIRL – Let’s meet in real life
47. LMK – Let me know
48. LOL – Laugh out loud
49. LSR – Loser
50. MIRL – Meet in real life
51. MOS – Mom over shoulder
52. NAGI – Not a good idea
53. NIFOC – Nude in front of computer
54. NM – Never mind
55. NMU – Not much, you?
56. NP – No problem
57. NTS – Note to self
58. OIC – Oh I see
59. OMG – Oh my God
60. ORLY – Oh, really?
61. OT – Off topic
62. OTP- On the phone
63. P911- Parent alert
64. PAW – Parents are watching
65. PCM – Please call me
66. PIR – Parent in room
67. PLS or PLZ – Please
68. PPL – People
69. POS – Parents over shoulder
70. PTB – Please text back
71. QQ – Crying. This abbreviation produces an emoticon in text. It’s often used sarcastically.
72. RAK – Random act of kindness
73. RL – Real life
74. ROFL – Rolling on the floor laughing
75. RT – Retweet
76. RUOK – Are you okay?
77. SMH – Shaking my head
78. SOS – Someone over shoulder
79. SRSLY- Seriously
80. SSDD – Same stuff, different day
81. SWAK – Sealed with a kiss
82. SWYP – So, what’s your problem?
83. SYS – See you soon
84. TBC – To be continued
85. TDTM -Talk dirty to me
86. TIME – Tears in my eyes
87. WYCM – Will you call me?
88. TMI – Too much information
89. TMRW – Tomorrow
90. TTYL – Talk to you later
91. TY or TU – Thank you
92. VSF – Very sad face
93. WB – Welcome back
94. WTH – What the heck?
95. WTPA – Where the party at?
96. WYCM – Will you call me?
97. YGM – You’ve got mail
98. YOLO – You only live once
99. YW – You’re welcome
100. ZOMG – Oh my God (sarcastic)
101. 182 – I hate you
102. 420 – Marijuana
103. ADR – Address
104. CD9 – Code 9 – it means parents are around
105. ILU – I Love You
106. KOTL – Kiss On The Lips
107. LMIRL – Let’s Meet In Real Life
108. NIFOC – Nude In Front Of The Computer
109. P999 – Parent Alert
110. PAL – Parents Are Listening -or- Peace And Love
111. RU/18 – Are You Over 18?
112. WYRN – What’s Your Real Name?
The more I read through this list, the more absurd I think it is. No kids are saying “nude in front of the computer” or “I want sex now” or “get your pants off.” Those would be absurd things we’d say to people online in 1999 to fuck with them when we’d assume they were old people trying to sexually harass us.
If I rolled into a high school, these kids aren’t texting each other “P999” for “Parent Alert.” They’re Snapchatting and Yik-Yakking that there’s an old dude around while pointing and laughing. These are the things molesters would put in text messages if they were trying to lure these kids in, only to get outed because they sound like they’re from 2001.
Whatever. It shouldn’t matter anyway. DWBH, IYKWIM. .
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Will
Will (Twitter / Instagram) is the host of The Sunday Scaries Podcast.
@willdefries
@willdefries
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will@grandex.co
Not what I think when I hear ATM…
I think that’s “A2M” these days.
These are almost exclusively awful. Get off my metaphorical lawn, you filthy kids.
Can’t read these without hearing that old commercial “IDK my BFF Jill”
Fucking hate kids.
FHK
Really expected Dorn to write this. He still uses A/S/L daily.
TGDAG?
This just gave me AOL Instant Messenger PTSD
Is AOL trying to make a comeback?
Phone companies could make a ton of parents happy if they allowed the account holder to block certain apps on certain devices. I’d feel much more comfortable giving my future, theoretical 16 year old a phone if I could be sure she couldn’t get on snap chat.
Flip phone. Boom, problem solved. That or just give her a walkie-talkie.
It’s just a fact of nature teenagers are gonna send / receive nudes, I would rather it happen on snapchat than any permanent medium.
Or one that forwards any sexts my hypothetical son receives to a folder on my computer for later review.
That’s kiddy porn, man…..
Or responsible parenting, you trying to tell me how to parent my kid????
No, just trying to keep you out of jail.
TLDR