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“So run me through everyone’s names again?” Eric said with a furrowed brow. “I don’t want to get roasted in the group chat later.”
Alyssa squeezed his arm playfully as she looked up at him. “Aw, look at you all worried about meeting my friends. Don’t worry, they won’t roast you. And their names are Alexis, Bridget, Sonia, and Marina.”
Eric smiled at her knowing she was probably right, but still wanting to be as prepared as possible. He really liked this girl, and he knew that securing her friends’ approval was a huge step. Nothing could kill a budding relationship faster than a group of friends expressing their concerns.
He spoke slowly as they walked hand-in-hand down the block. “That’s right. Alexis is the tall redhead, Bridget and Sonia are your blonde coworkers, and Marina is…something to do with money or finance?” He looked at Alyssa for validation and saw her staring at him incredulously.
“Shit,” he thought. “I fucked something up. Is calling girls by their hair color offensive? It’s just to remember which is which until I get to know them, I know they’re, like, real people and shit.”
He stared, wide-eyed, and asked, “What? Is she not a waitress?”
Alyssa’s face broke out into a grin as she looked at him with an expression he couldn’t decipher.
“No, you got it all right. I’m just impressed. You’re a good listener. It’s not a quality I’ve seen too much of in the past.”
“Oh, well, you’re easy to listen to.” Eric responded, masking his confusion with a compliment. He had never been praised on his listening skills before. In fact, many of his past teachers would agree he was quite below average in that regard. But when it came to this girl, he never missed a word. Everything that came out of her mouth was of the highest priority for him. He could listen to her recite a grocery list.
He felt Alyssa grip his hand a little tighter as they walked the last half block to their destination, a new sushi joint that had just opened last month. Despite being listed as “$$$” on Yelp, it offered a BYOB policy that made Eric feel a little better about what his bill was going to look like. As they neared the doors, Alyssa detached her hand from his and waved excitedly at a group of girls standing near the host stand, waiting to be seated.
Eric opened the glass door for Alyssa who immediately did a shuffling run three feet to dole out hugs to her friends. Eric stood a little awkwardly, unsure of whether he should introduce himself or wait to be introduced. After a second of contemplation, he decided to take matters into his own hands.
“Hey, I’m Eric,” he stated confidently as he went down the line, shaking hands with all four girls in turn.
“I put our name down, like, ten minutes ago,” Bridget said, addressing the group now that the introductory phase was over. “So we should be seated any minute now. Did you guys bring booze? I mayyy have stopped at the corner store and gotten some White Claws for myself.”
“Of course you would,” Alyssa said teasingly. “Don’t worry, we won’t make you drink alone. We brought…a couple bottles of wine.” On cue, Eric raised his left hand, holding a black plastic bag with two bottles of wine in it.
“Woww, two bottles?” Alexis said with a chuckle. “I guess Eric knew he’d need to be liquored up to put up with all of us and our questions!”
The group laughed loudly as Eric shook his head jokingly. Alyssa mouthed “sorry” at him and smiled. Alexis continued. “So, Eric, you work with Tom, right? We love Tom. Are you in sales also?”
“I do work with Tom,” Eric responded. “He’s awesome. I’m actually a project manager, so a different department. I pretty much just bug him occasionally to make sure he’s hitting his targets.”
“Oh so you’re his boss.” Sonia piped up, enticing a laugh from Eric. He and Alyssa spoke at the same time.
“I’m not his boss, but you should definitely tell him-“
“Actually, I think it’s the other way around-“
They stared at each other. Eric broke the short silence. “Wait, what? Do you think Tom is my boss?” Alyssa responded with a confused look on her face. “Is he not? I swear when I first asked about you he told me he was. Sorry, I don’t know how your business works! My office only has me, two PAs, and the doctor, so it’s a lot simpler.”
Eric smiled to relieve the tension, despite his growing annoyance at his coworker. “That’s funny. No, he’s not my boss. I guess he’s higher up than me in his department, but we don’t really have any overlap.”
“What a weird move by Tom,” he thought to himself, as the conversation continued on around him. “Why would he try to big-time me like that? Does he secretly have a thing for Alyssa? I mean, I asked him outright he said no, so it would be strange if he was lying. Is it a bitch move to just text him and ask? Fuck it, I’d rather just figure it out than keep wondering.”
Finished with his internal discussion, Eric pulled out his phone and began scrolling to the last text conversation he’d had with Tom. As he found it, a voice broke his concentration.
“Bridget, party of six?” The group’s conversation halted as they affirmed that they were here, and the hostess carefully counted out six menus and continued. “Your table is ready. Follow me please.”
Eric slipped his phone back into his pocket, his momentary annoyance with Tom diffused by the promise of delicious seaweed-wrapped fish. “Eh, Alyssa probably just misunderstood what he said. I’ll bring it up with him if it comes up. No need to make a big deal about nothing.”.
Respond
Nick Arcadia
The opposite of a life coach. Email or DM me if you want some bad advice: nickarcadiapgp@gmail.com
@noampao
noamio
*Narrator voice* “Eric would go on to make a big deal about nothing.”
Currently rewatching Arrested Development right now so I very much appreciate these comments. Also, hot take alert: Tobias Funke is arguably the funniest secondary character of all time
I’m afraid I just blue myself.
Combining analyst and therapist, analrapist, was not his brightest move.
daddy wants to get his rocks off
Is there a little girl here all by herself?
Thanks
dinner and drinks with her and her 4 friends with no other guys? what kinda ambush is this
it is like he got called before the estrogen tribunal for deep interrogation. i can’t tell if Eric is brave or stupid for agreeing to this.
Probably a little bit of both, but lets not lie to ourselves here. We all would agree to something like this for a girl like Alyssa
the only move here is to have a few drinks beforehand to prepare for the onslaught of questions
As Delroy from Oh Brother Where Art Thou “Its a bushwhack”
WAIT. What happened at the wedding? Has it not happened yet? Where in time are we right now?
Bigggg plot hole
I came here to say this… I need answers!
“Nothing could kill a budding relationship faster than a group of friends expressing their concerns.”
Or, like, nailing someone else at a wedding
Let it go, Eric! No one gets laid because of their job.
Counterpoint: hookers
FALSE. Have you ever heard of pro athletes or plastic surgeons?
Well that helps
stock photo girls: would
Well this relationship has already started its descent.
Erics gonna look like a chump asking tom about this. Toms gonna tell alyssa, then alyssa’s gonna get pissed at eric over nothing while tom is secretly “big dicking” eric to get to alyssa. It was a trap from the begging.
Tom’s out here playing 4D underwater backgammon and Eric’s playing tic-tac-toe.
Well this is awkward