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Ever feel alone in a crowded room? As cliché as this is, I know the feeling. I remember many times, being out at a party or a bar and reaching my limit. Everything becomes white noise and my only desire is to head back to wherever I lived at the time to get away. I used to use the “Irish Exit” excuse and that worked well. Fortunately, as we get older, people don’t want to rage into the wee hours like we once used to so there is no longer a need to “explain.”
Being around people is exhausting. I’m lucky that everyone I work with are good people who are fun to be around but every day, I look forward to quitting time to kick off my clothing and do nothing. At this point, I can’t even watch Office Space because I’ll fantasize about doing whatever I want and honestly, I can’t imagine what life is like for those of us with terrible coworkers and shitty bosses.
In talking about these feelings to others, I’ve had people tell me or show me articles about being an “extroverted introvert.” I’m fairly outgoing so when people who know me know I like to head back at what appears to be random, some Facebook article must have clicked and they are quick to label. I hate putting labels on things. Like people that believe in astrology, if you make it vague enough, any idiot will be like, “Hey, that’s totally me!” By the way, if you’re dumb enough to believe in astrology, I’ll let Bill Nye ruin this for you. There’s no need to put labels on yourself, which is why I don’t subscribe to the bullshit every Buzzfeed and Facebook quiz seems to want to do.
As I get older, I spend a lot more time by myself and quite honestly, it’s great. We spent most of our formative years in highly structured environments. Think about it: K-12 was a learning prison: the bell rang, you went where you had to. If you didn’t, you’d get in trouble. College was a bit more freedom, but if one didn’t do their shit, they would fail out and be crippled with student loans AND a lifetime sentence to work retail if they didn’t figure something better. After a brief pimp slap from adulthood, alone time forces people just like you and I to come to grips with what it’s like to be an individual. While brotherhoods, sisterhoods, friends, and family all have shaped our very being, it is time to put all that team building, structured bullshit hoops and ladders we jumped through to the test. In video game terms, you just got done with the tutorial and now it’s time to go slay some dragons.
Everyone has their thing when they are alone. As someone who can’t sit long enough to watch most TV, I’ll play video games. Sometimes I’ll whip out the bass and play a few tunes or write something. I’m not sure why, but it’s cathartic. Some of my most favorite times are rainy days spent reading in bed, something I haven’t done in a long time. Even having a few minutes on the shitter to myself to fuck around on my phone is a welcome break up in the day.
One day, I hope America adopts a more European style of living. We live in a society that has never been more productive, yet we live an antiquated 40-hour work week. My friends in Europe are always traveling, blessed with about a month of PTO a year. Americans are vastly overworked compared to other First World nations. With more time off, the time that we do have off wouldn’t feel so rushed and we could prioritize spending more time enjoying others company, rather than feel the need to balance our time off between recharging and seeing our friends and family.
Like every other person, I greatly value my alone time. No one wants to be around people all the time. Anyone that doesn’t is an absolute liar. Striking a balance between spending time with those we care about and mentally preparing to once more unto the breach is a job in itself. Really, the only thing anyone can do is keep truckin’, dear friends. .
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Madoff
I specialize in damage control, being the drunkest at any and all functions and social assassination. Always appreciate a strong gif game. Follow me on Twitter. Sometimes I put up cool stuff about golfing at the local dirt tracks.
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When I saw the beginning of this sentence: “Sometimes I’ll whip out the…” I thought it was going in an entirely different direction than “bass”. My bad.
Yeah man, astrology is bullshit.
Also, I couldn’t agree more with you. I love living with my girlfriend, but I do miss my single days where I could spend the day alone in my apartment doing nothing but watching TV and choking the chicken.
I’ve always thought that Myer-Briggs personality types are the modern-day astrology and horoscopes, especially when used in dating profiles. Completely BS, especially when multiple studies have discredited it.
What are you talking about!? Myers-Brigg tests are completely valid and reliable! The Myers-Brigg Foundation told me so.
(Seriously, the only reason why they’re still tossed around is that so many people have bought into it and received “certifications” to administer them, so we’ll never get rid of it. Big Five 4 lyfe)
I also feel this way about being single. I (probably) won’t be alone and child free forever, so might as well appreciate the time I have to be totally selfish, irresponsible and having no one to answer to.
So true on the last part. Probably the number one thing that drives me crazy about dating/relationships is the other person always wondering what I’m up to or where I am. I hate feeling like I need to be interesting all the time.
As a Nurse you will probably understand, but I love that my wife works nights. I lover her to death but 3 nights a week by myself is awesome.
See I’m not in a serious relationship but I always wonder how married people can do it. Lots of benefits about working nights but I’m not sure I can do it forever. And I always wonder if it scares guys away and they just don’t tell me.
Hambino, were on the same page. It makes me feel alive when I can eat whatever I want for dinner and walk around in my disgusting cutoff sweatpants and eat a bag of Oreos without being judged.
Nurse, if you’re worried about men being afraid of this, mention they can do what I just said.
If either of y’all are in Houston we should be nightshift friends or something.
You gotta lay off the Oreos, 19th. Or at least mix in some Tate’s.
Yeah I’m in Houston. We have a kiddo now so all that’s changed is both of us eat sloppy in our underwear while she’s working. NurseJackie, yeah I don’t want her working nights forever but it really has its benefits for the short term.
Also sup if you’re ever in the Houston metro area @Nursejackie
Well yeah but it’s also nice to know that if you ever get kidnapped or get trapped in your apartment someone will actually look for you instead of being found by your property manager after you be a corpse for a few weeks.
Girlfriend and I lived alone for the past year, realized we both love being alone way more, and decided to just get separate apartments but not split up or anything.
I am stoked.
Would love to case study you.
I mean this sincerely. Sounds like an interesting set up
I’m curious how it will work out as well. I brought up the idea initially. She wasn’t into it at first and thought I was trying to end things, but now we’re both pretty excited to have our own space. Moving in 2 weeks.
I love alone time. I usually like to just find a park or a coffee shop and sit with a book for a few hours on my days off. I went a very long time never having the time to just take care of myself and I’ve noticed a huge difference in my outlook on life ever since I’ve found ways to implement some “me” time.
S/O to Jack’s Mannequin’s song “Dark Blue” with that first sentence.
Always nice to see people get the references.
You’re bringing back all those high school feels
That sons immediately started playing in my head when I read the line
“What gets you off” is their best work imo
I have a house, girlfriend, and dog so it gets pretty exhausting. Luckily I get to travel for work and I usually arrive at my destination half a day early so I can just roam around a city by myself and relax in the hotel room with a book or a good movie.
I sometimes feel like my girlfriend is too dependent on me for entertainment so it’s a breath of fresh air.
On a side note, let me know if any PGPers in Columbus, Cleveland, Pittsburgh, or Detroit want to grab a drink on a weeknight.
Reminds me of The Art of the Solo Rager that was on PGP a couple of years back. Real game changer for me getting those hours to yourself.
But what games are you playing?
I’ve been known to play League of Legends at a surprisingly high level. Sid Maiers Civ, Star Wars: Kotor, Legend of Zelda. Bunch of other stuff
Legend of Zelda Ocarnia of Time will always be an awesome game.
Dota 2 > League
This is not correct.
Surprised theres no comment from Nived about how being truly alone is now a fantasy not because of some “No man is island” bs or our interpersonal relationships we develop as we go along living like idiots on this stupid blue rock keep us from being truly alone. No we can no longer be alone because of Big Brother, because we’re being constantly monitored either on purpose or unbeknownst us by some NSA or CIA spook turning on the microphone in your phone. You can no longer be alone thanks to Alexa or Siri and that true isolation only exist in between your ears.